Small Packages
by B4C
Summary: Since returning to her small hometown, Brooke Davis has made sure she is too busy for love… too busy to get hurt. But when Haley and Nathan need some time away and Aunt Brooke is asked to babysit Jamie and Lydia she enlists the help of her ex-boyfriend turned friend and her walls begin to crumble. Brucas. Set around season 5 or 6 (obviously a little lose with the ti
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Since returning to her small hometown, Brooke Davis has made sure she is too busy for love… too busy to get hurt. But when Haley and Nathan need some time away and Aunt Brooke is asked to babysit Jamie and Lidia she enlists the help of her ex-boyfriend turned friend and her walls begin to crumble. Brucas. Set around season 5 or 6 (obviously a little lose with the time line as Lidia is already born, but Peyton and Lucas never happened and Brooke hasn't decided she wants a baby yet).

* * *

"You can't do this to me now!"

Haley lowered her voice and blinked shimmering eyes at her. "Brooke, I wouldn't ask if this wasn't really important. It could be make or break for us. I need this time with Nathan to sort out our marriage or we could be through."

"I get that, Haley. And I'm totally team Naley. But I can't look after them now." She glanced over at two small faces blinking at her from the doorway, guilt rising up in her throat like bile that they were have to hear her turn them away, rejecting them. "Maybe next weekend some time. I have this massive deal for my line and…"

"This is my life we're talking about! I can't lose him, Brooke. I really can't."

And now she was crying. Brooke couldn't take it when Haley cried. And she especially couldn't take it when it was happening in front of her God children. Even though technically their mother's back was to them. Brooke really couldn't put them through any of the stuff she remembered from her own childhood. It would be too cruel.

But surely it wasn't unreasonable to have asked for a little warning? A phone call to discuss it? A text message to say they were on their way over? Not a carload of them outside of her house when she got home from work…

"Haley…"

"Please. I'm begging you."

It had been a long time since Haley had actually asked her for anything. And seeing Haley so desperate now pulled at Brooke's heart. Her eyes moved to the two children. The eldest, Jamie, was looking at her with eyes the same colour as his uncles. He almost looked as if he was examining her, sizing her up. And even while she stood contemplating how to get out of looking after them she felt as if she was falling short of his expectations.

She took a long breath. "How long for?"

"Thank you!" Haley engulfed her in a swift, tight hug, her tears gone. "I knew I could rely on you."

Brooke scowled, suddenly feeling she'd just been hoodwinked. "They'll need…."

"They have everything they need right there. It's all pretty self-explanatory. And you can always call if you need anything."

She was still scowling while her friend became a hurricane around the room, hugging and kissing the children and moving towards the door. "We'll only be a few days. Nathan has booked some lovely country hideaway for us."

"How will I…?"

"Thanks, Brooke. You really are the best."

And she was gone.

Brooke blinked at the closed door. What had just happened? Not half an hour ago she'd had a bubble bath, scented candles and a glass of wine planned for her evening. Now she was staring at two small faces that looked as bewildered as she felt.

She pinned a bright smile on her face as she approached them. But it too about thirty seconds for Lydia to crumple.

"On, no, sweet girl. Don't do that."

Jamie shrugged. "So what's the plan, Aunt Brooke?"

And while she pounded her nephews question she reminded herself 'Haley is my best friend and I love her, and she owes me big time.'

* * *

Please read and review


	2. Chapter 2

Brooke was making her third trip from the house to the car. This time with a screaming toddler in her arms. She leaned in through the car door and soothed the screaming child until there was silence. Then, running her hands back through her dark hair to tame it, she closed the door and started around to the driver's side. But halfway around the car she stopped, and there was a frustrated scream and a stamp f one high heel. Her hands rose for a moment and then dropped to her sides. She stared at the flat tyre, "No, not this morning! Don't do this to me!"

She knew she really didn't have a choice, she'd have to call Lucas for help.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Lucas pulled his car into the driveway where Brooke stood, holding Lydia, watching Jamie, who was creating a masterpiece with chalk on the sidewalk.

"Hi, Looks like you need a hand."

She jumped when he spoke, and swung to ace him, her hair swinging across her face. "I have a flat."

Lucas looked down at the offending object and nodded. "Yep, I'd say you do, all right."

"I can't fix a flat in this outfit." There was a brief pause while she joined him in looking at the tyre. Then she took a breath and her voice changed. "Lucas, can you please help me? I'm having a really bad day."

He noticed the shift in her vocal tine immediately. How it had changed from annoyed to beguiling in the space of one sentence. She was trying to flirt with him to get him to change her tyre. Typical Brooke. Obviously he was going to do it anyway, didn't mean he didn't enjoy it.

He smiled and looked at her as she brushed her hair back from her face. And his breath caught. Her cool stare brought him back to reality. Okay, so she was having a bad morning – obviously.

He made an attempt to lighten the mood. "So I know I've been busy for a few weeks, but how did I miss you becoming a mother of two?"

Brooke snorted out a brief laugh. "Haley and Nate have gone on some marriage retreat so you know…."

"You stole their kids?"

The smile she gave him was a little more relaxed. "Well you know how much I just love these little munchkins." She placed a wet kiss on Lydia's cheek, earning her a quick giggle from the toddler.

"Well they are cute, take after their Uncle in that department." He waved at Lydia who smiled back.

"Yes, they are cute. But they're also really hard work."

"I'd heard a rumour."

She glanced at him, "Is there any chance that you could help with the tyre? I really have to get to my store."

"You're taking them with you to work?"

"No." She laughed again. "Jamie has school and Lydia is off to a nearby day-care, who said they can take her for today. But after that I'm on my own."

When she turned her face to his she blinked up at him with her large green eyes and he remembered why he could never say no to her.

He cleared his throat. "I'll help with the tyre. No problem. It's what I came over here to do."

There was a brief pause, then "Thanks."

Another smile was attempted. "You're welcome."

Brooke hesitated for a brief moment. Then she answered the smile with one of her own. After all her was being helpful.

She followed him around as he pulled the spare wheel from the back and gathered the tools he needed. It gave her a few moments to think of some conversation to make. After all, a big part of her work every day was talking to people. It shouldn't be so difficult.

But all she could think about was there history.

"So." His voice sounded out from her knee height. "Ever think about having kids of your own there, super aunt?"

"No, no kids of my own." For some completely unknown reason she felt she had to justify that. "I'm too busy with my career."

"Not for as long as you have these two, you're not."

She scowled at his back as he finished jacking up the car and reached for the wrench. "No the busy part is still there. This wasn't a booked visit."

His voice came out with a slight grunt as he worked on the first wheelnut. "How are you going to manage, then? Is Owen gonna help you out?"

"No, actually Owen is out of the picture. Plus I'm too busy with work for men anyway."

"You must be doing great in work, then."

"As a matter of fact I am. Thanks." Her scowl promoted itself to a frown.

He nodded as he freed the last nut and wrenched the tyre off. "Well, good for you."

If she'd been a dog she'd have growled at him. In the space of a few sentences he'd made her feel as if the years since she'd parted company with him had been achievement-free. Just because his goals were different from hers, it didn't mean hers were any less fulfilling!

After all, she ran a multimillion dollar company, she owned her own home and an apartment in New York. And while she hadn't had much luck in the romance department lately, she still though she was doing pretty good.

Who was he to waltz in and criticise?

"I suppose you were on your way to meet with Linsey or perhaps Peyton?"

He rose and turned around, lifting the spare tyre with one hand as he grinned at her. "Touché."

Damn it, he'd caught her, hadn't he? He hadn't been trying to criticise her life; he

D been fishing for information. And he'd got it. And now he was grinning at her with a sparkle in his eyes that said, Gotcha.

Brooke shook her head with a small smile of resignation. She should have remembered how smart he was. Lord alone knew she remembered plenty of other things while he kept on looking at her like that.

Still grinning, he turned round and popped the tyre into place, then reached a large hand out for the nuts. "I could help if you're stuck."

"I can manage. Thanks."

"Well, if you're stuck." He tightened the last nuts and then stood up, wiping his hands carelessly along the sides of his jeans before he lifted the flat. As he walked past her he glanced from the corner of his eyes. "I am Uncle Lucas, after all."

Well, bully for him. Though for the briefest moment she allowed herself to wonder what he would be like as a father. But she couldn't wonder about that kind of thing. Because wondering would lead to questioning. And questioning would lead to a conversation. And she was smart enough to know that her and Lucas couldn't just spend time together, not when there was a possibility that he was still in love with her friend.

"Thanks." She straightened her hair again, then glanced at her watch as he stowed away the tyre. "But really, we'll be fine."

Lucas closed the back of the car and studied her, while she buckled Lydia into her seat. Then he merely shrugged his broad shoulders and pushed his hands into his pockets. "Well, you know where I am."

Indeed she did. But she would need to be in critical condition before she'd follow the broad shoulders that swayed as he walked back to his car.

C-r-i-t-i-c-a-l.


	3. Chapter 3

Critical didn't kick in until just before she was due to leave work to collect the children/ that was when she got word that the meeting with potentially her biggest ever clients had been brought up a few days, and she had a presentation that was wasn't even halfway done.

The headache started then.

At the daycare centre no amount of pleading or bribery would get Lydia booked in again. They were full to the gills as it was, and it was only because one family had been on vacation that they'd had space for one day.

Her head was pounding by the time she got to the grocery store.

"I want fish fingers!" Jamie announced. "No, chicken nuggets."

She negotiated her way around an end-of-aisle display, missing toppling a pyramid of laundry detergent boxes by inches. She'd had dozens of shopping carts to pick from, and had still managed to pick the one with the dodgy wheel. Someone somewhere really had it in for her.

"Chicken nuggets and mac and cheese." Jamie tried again, then took a moment to think and added, "Please?"

"Please definitely helps." Brooke began struggling to push the cart in a straight line. "Tell you what, let's do cereal first, and then we can decide what we're having for dinner."

It was nearly fifteen minutes of debate on nutritional values versus free gift in box when Lucas appeared around the corner with a basket.

"Aw, shit." Brooke looked down at Jamie's smiling face.

"You said a bad word!"

"I'm sorry, Jamie." She pinned a smile on her face as Lucas approached. "Hello, again."

"I'm not stalking you, if that's what you think."

The thought had occurred. "It's the only grocery store in Tree Hill."

Jamie tugged on his arm. "Uncle Luke, we are having chicken nuggets for dinner. But we need to pick cereal first."

"That sounds good." He hunkered down and smiled broadly at his nephew, examining the box in his arms. "I like that cereal too."

"You get a toy with them." Jamie hugged the box.

"And about a zillion preservatives," Brooke cut it.

"They'll help him live longer."

"No, they won't." Brooke scowled down at him. "Something with brain in it would be much healthier."

Lucas made a gagging face that looked almost exactly like the one Jamie had made when she had put cauliflower in the cart earlier. Jamie giggled at him. "Yuck."

Leaning down toward his ear, Brooke snapped, "Not helping."

She stood up abruptly as he rose to his feet, felt herself get shy as he examined her face. "You looked exhausted. Tough day?"

"You have no idea." She caved on the cereal with the toy, soothing her conscience by at least believing that, she could balance it out by hiding vegetables in the mac and cheese. She'd worry about the negotiations later. "And it's only getting worse."

Falling into step beside her, he reached a hand out and grabbed a box. "Worse how?"

With no idea whatsoever why she was doing it, Brooke started to spill her problems. "I'm working on a deal to get my line into Macy', and they moved the presentation meeting up. So now I have so much work to do and only two days to do it in."

Lucas nodded, adding more to his basket as they rounded a corner. "And you have the kids at the same time?"

"Yes. And the daycare centre can't take them."

"So, you'd say you were stuck, then?"

She stopped her cart by the refrigerators and glared at him. "I have a list of babysitters to call when I get home."

"And if they can't take them on short notice?"

Then she was in big trouble. Blinking at his calm face, she felt the headache thump harder at her temples.

"Then I'll have to see if the meeting can be put back a couple of days." She just about managed to hide a grimace as she reached for frozen chicken nuggets.

Lucas stood silently until she looked back at him. "Did Haley know you had this meeting?"

She kept her face hidden as she examined the contents of the fridge. "She has a lot to deal with right now. It's important."

He watched as she aimed a brief smile at him.

"Not broccoli, Aunt Brooke."

"It's good for us, Jamie."

"But it tastes yucky."

"We'll put cheese sauce on it and you won't even be able to taste it." She ruffled Jamie's hair and then glanced at Lucas from beneath her lashes. "I better go get these guys fed."

"Sure." He nodded, then waited to speak again as she started to force her wobbly cart away from him. "But remember the offer of help is still there if you need it, Brooke. Really."

* * *

They couldn't change the meeting. And none of the babysitters she'd been given numbers for where free. So she had no choice but to bite the bullet and ask for help. From Lucas. Just for one day.

And he didn't even take a second to be smug about it when he came to the house the next day. Which made her feel worse. Damn him for being so helpful.

When she got Lucas had the world under control. Nothing appeared to have got stained, smeared or smashed since she'd left. And that in itself was a miracle she hadn't managed in the forty-eight hours.

She sighed as she sat down at the counter in the kitchen, and smiled at the coffee he handed her. How had she managed to avoid distractions all this time and now just as she was about to make the biggest deal of her career, she was suddenly Aunt of the year. And on top of that she was being forced to spend time with the one man who could really truly distract her.

Up until she'd moved back to Tree Hill, she'd thought she was over him. Out of sight out of mind. But now, she bumped into him everywhere and she was almost certain that Haley had done this to her on purpose, so she would have to accept his help. Which had brought him into her house and directly into her line of vision. Up close and personal.

"Brooke?" His voice sounded again when she went silent.

"Sorry." She scowled down into her coffee mug and tried to find answers there. "Thanks for helping out Luke."

"It's no big deal. I don't mind."

When she looked up again he was studying her, his eyes as warm as his voice was reassuring.

It was unnerving as hell. "You may not, but I do. I really wanted to help out Haley and Nate and this stuff with work wasn't supposed to happen for a few more week. So really, thanks."

Despite the serious tone of her voice, Lucas' eyes sparkled with amusement. With her scowl as a response, he cleared his throat and forced a calm look on his face. "Well having seen what two children can do to a living room in one afternoon, I guess the store is probably not a good idea."

"Cream was a practical color for a couch when I lived here alone." She though nostalgically of the days when all the creams and beiges of her modern interior had looked pristine. They couldn't have spilt something on something darker, where it wouldn't have shown, could they?

A small chuckle escaped. "Thank the Lord for cushions, though. They can cover any flavour fruit juice. Even blackcurrant."

Brooke glared. "I'm glad you find this so amusing."

"Aw, c'mon – you can barely see the stains when the cushions are in the right places. I always knew there had to be some use for throw cushions." He continued to smile, adding with a shrug. "They're such a girl thing."

"I still know the stains are there." She did her best to hide a smile of amusement. Though at the same time it had happened she hadn't been so amused. She'd worked damn hard to have her lovely home lovely, spent hours poring over catalogues and wandering around furniture stores. Making things kid-proof had never once been a consideration in any purchase.

Pushing his large frame away from the edge of a granite counter-top, Lucas walked the two paces necessary to stand right in front of her, his voice silken. "You're doing a great job."

"I'm not their mother, though. And Haley is relying on me." She tried really hard not to notice how close he was, or how he made words sound so seductive, her eyes flickered up to his face. Was it possible for someone to look better under close inspection than they did from a distance? Even after four years? Lord alone knew if she stood that close to her own reflection she'd find flaws. Plenty of them.

With a swallow she forced herself to stare at a dark button on the front of his shirt. Buttons were nice, safe things to look at. She would just focus on the button while she forced herself to find some miraculous solution to her dilemma. Reasoning to herself that while focusing on the button she wouldn't get distracted by looking into deeply blue eyes. Even when she knew they were still looking at her.

"No you're not their mother. But their mother trust you more than anyone to look after them. And you and I both know that Haley wouldn't have left them if it wasn't what was best for them." He waited patiently until his silence, and his close proximity, forced her eyes to tilt up to meet his again. "They really need you right now. And you are doing a great job. Those kids love you."

"I'm aware of that, thank you."

"You can work this out."

He made it sound so simple. How could he know?

He watched her scowl for a few seconds, then turned his face from hers as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I've told you I'll help out where I can." He glanced back at her face. "And I mean that."

"I know. You've said." She swallowed down a bubble of frustration. He just always had been such a nice guy, hadn't he? And the simple truth was he was better with the children than she was – which made her even more resentful of his presence than she already was. "But this really isn't your problem. It's mine. I really don't need you to feel you have to hop over here to rescue me every time there's a crisis."

"Every guy likes to play the knight in shining armour now and then." He flashed a grin at her while ignoring her petulant tine. "You just happen to be the nearest damsel, is all."

Brooke hated the idea of being seen as a damsel in distress. So much for all her years trying to be a strong and independent career woman.

She knew Lucas had work of his own to do – writing, basketball and…... She swallowed as she thought, dates to occupy him

She watched with slightly narrowed eyes as he turned, removed a hand from his pocket to rescue his mug and walked the two paces it took for him to get to the sink to rinse it out. Somewhere in her mind it occurred to her that everyone else took a lot longer to walk around her open-plan kitchen. But Lucas was so damned tall that he seemed to get everywhere in two long, confident steps. She'd forgotten over the years just how tall he was.

He certainly was way head and shoulders above her shoeless five foot seven. When he was around she had always had moments where she felt petite and feminine. Maybe even a little small and dainty.

"So, what are you going to do if you won't accept some help?"

Good question.

"I don't know," she frowned again as the words came out all small and helpless. This really had to stop. "But I'm going to have to think of something until Haley and Nathen get back."

She signed a resigned sigh. What was the point in being stroppy with him? It was hardly his fault.

With his cup rinsed and set on the drainer, he turned and looked back at her face. He went silent, when he saw the look in her eyes. Even after their years apart he still knew the warning signs of an impending argument. She was trying to put on a brave face and support her friend and here he was chipping away at her facade.

With a shrug, he let it drop. "Well, you know where I am if you need me."

Oh, she knew, all right. Right down the street. To remind her every day of all the reasons she had to stay well away from him.

"Thanks for looking after them today."

"No problem." He frowned for a second, deep in thought, poised on the balls of his feet as if he might step forward again. Then he simply smiled a small smile and walked the two paces it took for him to get to her back door. "I have some work to clear up at home tomorrow, so I'll be around if you need a hand."

"Okay. Thanks again." Though even as she said the words she knew she would do everything in her power to make sure she didn't have to make that call.

After the door closed behind him, she stood in the same place for a long while. The house was silent, bar the background noise from the television. If it hadn't been for that noise to remind her she wasn't alone she might have allowed herself to wallow in the moment of loneliness she felt.

But it wasn't because of him, she reminded herself. It was just the way she'd probably always felt but had never really allowed herself to acknowledge. It was an emptiness inside that she'd taken years to control and to bury – even from herself, it seemed.

Part of her truly hated him for the fact that he had reminded her it was there. That it might have been well hidden but hadn't gone away. Maybe never would.

She wasn't the only one who fought it, though, she guessed.

Although right at that moment she may have wanted to kill her best friend for talking this trip, and inconvenient timing as it was, she couldn't hate her for it. Because she understood.

Haley was probably fighting her own version of that hollowness. It had been a tough year for her and Nathan. Brooke was determined to support Haley in any way she could.

She'd just have to find a way to do it without Lucas Scott's help. She didn't need a constant reminder of how close she could have come to having a real family or her own. She couldn't seek happiness that way anymore. Especially when his presence still stirred up a memory in her that she'd never really been able to shift.

No, she would never allow herself to rely on someone else for her own happiness. Could never expect to find love as it was described in the movies. Because it just didn't exists.

Other women coped, balancing careers with families. So could she.

Brooke was a mature, capable woman. She could deal with problems when they arose. Could manage her time. It was only a couple more days. Haley had said a few days. And she'd survived two already.

She just had to find a way to survive another two.

Without help from Lucas Scott.


	4. Chapter 4

Lucas jogged down the street and smiled as he caught sight of Brooke bundling the kids into her car.

She looked harassed again. Sleek, shoulder-length dark hair flying into her face as she moved from car door to car door. Even the movements of her slight figure were jerky, hurried, while she brushed at her hair with an irritated hand.

His smile grew. Thing was even from across the street he could see that ruffled-round-the-edges look suited her. It was sexy. It reminded him of how sexy she'd been at seventeen. Though he'd bet serious money she wouldn't believe him if he told her.

Not that he was likely to.

He wasn't going to even allow himself to touch on the subject f how she'd looked back then. Even Peyton, who logically he had more in common with, hadn't affected him the way Brooke could with one flick of her long dark hair or a flash of dimples when she smiled. She'd been tough to forget.

But she was determined to do without his help.

Something he should have been happy about. If only from a work point of view. And it wasn't as if she'd shown any real enthusiasm to spend a great amount of time in his company since she'd moved back to Tree Hill.

That should have been enough of a hint for him to leave it alone. But somehow all it did was make her more interesting to him.

Maybe it was just the thrill of the chase? After all, he hadn't had to do that much chasing until he'd met Brooke Davis. And when he'd finally made her his all those years ago, she'd run from him, but not before pushing him toward her best friend.

He stretched, catching his breath while he let the memory of their kisses seep into his mind. Not for the first time either. It was almost as if seeing her had opened a well of memories he'd shut away.

They'd had chemistry – chemistry he'd gladly like to revisit. And he'd thought about revisiting it way, way too much, ever since Haley had told him she was back.

But alongside the memories of hot kisses and romantic speeches in the rain was the memory of the absolute anguish in her eyes as she told him it was over.

He sighed, that felt like a lifetime ago. Well, that was what he kept telling himself. In reality he remember every tear, ever thought that had flown through his head and every word he'd wished he could have said. But the words had stuck in his throat and she had walked away. He had down a number on that poor girl. He had never seen her so distressed.

He really should have been backpedalling like crazy to keep away from Ms. Brooke Davis.

But he wasn't. Instead he was volunteering every five minutes to help her out, when she would quite obviously rather hew off her own arm.

It was pathetic, really. And enough was enough. What he should be doing was going straight out to purse someone less complicated. Or a string of someone elses – with less history involved, of course. A series of flings to fill in time; that was what was needed to take his mind off her. Nothing else.

His focus was drawn back as her car pulled out into the street and disappeared. He then watched with widening eyes as a second later her front door opened and a small blond figure appeared.

She'd left Jamie behind?

With a shake of his head he jogged across the street. This had to be the last time.

"Hey, J. Luke."

Jamie looked up at him, blinked a couple of times and then answered, "Hey Uncle Lucas." As if nothing in the world was wrong.

"Your Aunt Brooke was in a bit of a hurry this morning, I take it? He smiled.

"S'pose."

"I bet she'll be right back."

Jamie shrugged.

Lucas glanced up the street and then looked back at the house. "I don't suppose you left the door open?"

The boy shook his head.

"Didn't think so." They both stood silently, and then Lucas turned round and sat down on the stone step, "Well, I guess we better wait for her, then. I'm sure she'll be right back."

The boy thought for a moment, and then sat down beside him. And they sat. And then they sat some more.

In silence.

"So, how you doing, Buddy?"

"Okay. I miss mama."

"I know Buddy. But she'll be back really soon. You having fun with Aunt Brooke?"

"She's tryin."

Lucas nodded, "That's good, then."

He honestly thought he was going to have to discuss the weather with a five year old when Jamie announced, "She does a really good job, even though she'd not a mommy."

"Yes, she does."

There was the sound of an approaching car in the distance, and then Brooke reappeared.

"See – there she is."

They stood up in unison as the car parked in the driveway.

"Jamie, I could have sworn I buckled you in." Brooke practically cried out.

"I had to go potty and you were taking a long time to put all Lydia's stuff in the car.

He mouth opened – but nothing came out. So she closed it again. Then she looked down at Jamie's bent head and a wave of guilt washed over her. She stepped forward, her tone softening. "I really did think you were in the car, Jamie. I would never leave you on purpose."

The boy raised his chin, blinked at her and then mumbled, "Sorry."

Brooke's throat went tight. It wasn't her nephew's fault that she'd been so harassed that morning. It wasn't his fault that it had taken forever to get them all dressed, or that that Lydia had spit her cereal all over herself. Which had led to yet another change of clothes. It wasn't his fault that his Aunt really couldn't juggle here work with two kids. No matter how much it killed her that she couldn't. She should have been so much better at this. Woman all over the world did it, so why couldn't she? She'd never felt so inferior.

Bending down in front of him and looking him straight in the eye, she tried to explain. "No, I'm sorry. I should have seen you weren't in the car. When I realized you weren't there I was scared silly." She too a breath, her voice wobbling. "I pretty much suck at being an aunt, don't I?"

Jamie smiled a small smile. "You're doin' all right." Then he glanced up at Lucas. "See ya, Uncle Luke."

Just like that he had forgotten all about it.

"See ya." Lucas watched as he walked to the car, pulled open the door and hauled himself in, all the while aware that Brooke had stood up next to him and was glaring in his direction.

But the sight of her obvious guilt had backed him down. She was obviously finding this tough. He tried a smile, his eyes moving from her ruffled hair to the shadows she hadn't quite managed to disguise beneath her eyes. "Rough morning?"

"None of your business."

So much for trying to be nice. One large hand caught her arm as she turned to go back to the car. "I did offer to help."

"I'm doing just fine." She yanked her arm away.

"Obviously not, or you wouldn't have just abandoned a child." If this was going to be his last trip to her house then he was damn well going to point out a few home truths while he was there. "You're not used to kids. I get that. But you're so stubborn and determined to be Wonder Woman that when it comes to accepting help you're prepared to cut off your nose to spite your face. What have I done that makes my help such an awful proposition?"

Her face flamed while she searched for words.

Lucas shook his head, his voice dropping. "All this because of some high school drama?"

It was the tone of his voce as much as the question.

If she'd found him less of an all-round great guy to begin with she might have found it easier to tell him to go to hell. High school was a lifetime ago. And yet, with him standing right in front of her, in the here and now. It felt as if it had been yesterday.

Thing was, her life seemed to be falling apart at the seams now. All of her precious control take away from her by the presence of two small, demanding individuals.

And if she'd found the unwanted attraction she'd had for Lucas difficult to deal with when she had been young, and believed herself to be in control of the rest of her life, then it has to follow that now, when the rest of her life was falling apart, she would take some of her frustrations out on the only other person who had ever made her lose control. Even if that loss of control had only been a brief moment in time.

It was unfair of her, though, when all he'd done was be desirable enough for Peyton to want him as well. The thought increased her frustration. And in turn she got even angrier with him.

How dare he go being all reasonable with her, in that deep, sensual voice of his?

"Why can't you just mind your own business like everyone else in this world?"

Damned if he knew. "Why can't you just accept a simple offer of help when it's offered?"

"I've got to where I am now without any help from anyone. I'm not about to start looking for it now."

A small frown creased Lucas' brow at the statement she'd accompanied with a stubborn set of her slight shoulders. He searched her eyes with his, and for the briefest of moments he saw a flash of pain there. Before she blinked long lashes and hid herself behind the carefully controlled mask she wore so well. And he wanted to know why. Why was she on her own? Why had there never been anyone there to help her before?

"Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto."

She blinked in confusion. "What?"

"No man is an island. Everyone needs a friend. How many of these clichés do you need me to quote at you before you admit they're true?" He took a breath, glanced past her to the two small figures in the car, and then back again into her emerald eyes. "You're doing this to help out Haley because she needed you. I was just offering the same thing to an old friend."

"What's in it for you?"

He ran a hand back through his hair in frustration, "For crying out loud, Brooke. Can't I just be a friend?"

When she gaped at him he ploughed ahead. "I don't know what it's been like for you over the years. But where I've been friends help each other, and they don't look for payment in return any further than the same consideration if they need help some time."

Brooke continued to gape. Then snapped her mouth shut. She did need some help.

It wasn't just a case of wanting to prove she could do everything herself, was it? Because the simple fact was that if he'd been any other friend she'd probably have accepted his help in a heartbeat.

The problem lay with her. And the fact that she hadn't been able to forget, as he'd put it – high school drama. Even after all these years.

She was the one still obsessing over an old attraction to him. He was just trying to be a friend.

Surely she'd grown up enough to have the maturity not to cut of her own nose to spite her face?

Taking a deep breath, she jumped into the unknown territory. That place where people reached out for a helping hand. "Okay."

Lucas blinked at her for a brief second, suspicious of the turnaround. "Okay?"

"Okay. I could use some help."

His smile was slow, "See, now, was that so difficult?"

He would never know. She exhaled. "You start right now. I'm so late it's not even funny. But I warn you, if they keep you going the way they have me this morning, your chances of getting anything done till I get back are slim."

"That's okay; I'm fairly up to date with work. I have time. That's the beauty of being a writer, you can work from home."

"I hate you for that."

"Nah." He smiled one of his more charming grins, winking at her as he walked past. "You don't hate me. You like me. You always did. You just don't much like the fact right this minute, is all."

Brooke wondered if he ever got tired of being right. But as she turned to unload the children from the car she was already having to admit to herself that he was right about one very crucial fact.

She did like him. Always had. But she could like him from a distance and that would be fine with her. When her nephew and niece went home, so could he.

She couldn't take a chance on ending up 'friends' with him again. Because look at where that had gotten him last time….


	5. Chapter 5

BAD idea. Oh, yeah. Huge.

She knew it he minute she walked back through her door that evening and found him asleep on her sofa.

He had no business looking that good on her sofa. Or in her house. Or anywhere else for that matter.

Slipping her heels off her aching feet by the door, she padded silently across the carpet and sat down on the armchair facing him. She allowed herself to study him at leisure. As if it was some kind of a rare and illicit treat, like chocolate to someone on a diet.

She started her study at the top. He had always had great hair. As blond as any golden boy's hair should be, and sun-kissed in places, which was rare. She remembered it when it had been longer and less tamed. And even now, as her eyes moved across it in its shorter style, she could still see the odd trace of a restless curl or two.

Her eyes moved down over his face. Asleep, he looked like he had at seventeen, all boyish good looks with cheeks vaguely flushed in sleep. He'd had flushed cheeks a lot back in the day, from playing basketball on winter afternoons and jogging across the campus to make a class. But she now knew that when he was awake he had laughter lines at the edge of his eyes, and deep groves that appeared in his cheeks when he smiled. There was nothing boyish about that. It gave him depth, maturity. She decided she quite liked that.

Her gaze moved down to the sensual sweep of his mouth and swiftly past the memories attached to that part of him.

As for his body….

He really had no business looking so good. For the sake of decency the least he could have done was aged badly.

How did someone who spent that much time in front of a computer not put on a ton of weight? C'mon!

With a small moan, he rolled towards her, and she held her breath, staying as silent as possible so she could look at him for longer. While it was safe.

But with a flicker of dark blond lashes his eyes opened, and he blinked slowly at her. When he spoke his voice was laced with sleep, deep and sensual.

"You're home."

The two words struck a chord deep inside her, "Yes, I'm home."

He pushed himself onto one elbow and studied her with several slow blinks. "You look less harasses than the last time I saw you."

Brook smiled, easing as she discussed a subject she still had some control over. "The presentation went well. I think we got the contract."

"That's good."

Forcing her eyes to look away from the familiar dark blue ones that sparkled across at her, she quietly cleared her throat and asked, "How were the terrors?"

Lucas smiled. "Great. Though I don't know who was more tired by the time they went to bed."

"Oh, I know how that goes."

He propped himself up on an elbow. "How do you think people do this every day?"

"I really don't know." She smiled again. "Maybe you should ask your mother for us."

"I thought girls picked up all this stuff from their mothers?"

It was a fair enough assumption. And in the world he'd grown up in that was probably exactly how things worked. But Brooke hadn't grown up in that world.

All Brooke's mother had taught her was how to climb the social ladder while a series of nannies raised your child.

While she looked across at Lucas she wondered what he would think if he knew. It had been easier not to tell him any of that when they were young. To pretend that she didn't care that her parents were never around.

"Maybe you should get married and have some kids of your own, and then you could tell me what it's like."

His eyes flickered towards the floor, the think lashes shadowing them for a second as he smiled wryly. "Nah. I already tried the marriage thing. Could even get through the first step."

Brooke's eyes widened in surprise at how nonchalantly he was talking about his previous relationship. "I'm sorry Luke."

He shrugged his wide shoulders and looked back into her eyes. "Don't worry about it. These things happen. You can't force love and in the end she didn't love me. You can't help who you love."

No, you definitely couldn't. And she proof of that. "It must have been tough on you, though. To see her and Jake move on so quickly."

There was another shrug as he reached for his shoes. "I'm glad she's happy. Everyone deserves that."

"I suppose they do."

With an upward glance, he smiled wryly. "Don't worry, I promise I'm not going to start weeping all over your carpet. It's been months, almost a year. I'm moving on." He pushed himself to his feet and glanced around the room. "You working again tomorrow?"

"Yes." She was going to have to meet with her lawyers to get the contact ready for Monday. She'd never mined working late nights and weekends. But then she'd never needed to make quality time for anyone. "I should be done by lunchtime, though, so….?"

He nodded curtly as he located his sweater. "Np problem."

Brooke watched as he pulled the sweater over his head, her eyes taking in the movement of the muscles in his arms, the very brief glimpse of washboard waist as his shirt rose. And while she was watching she failed to notice when his head reappeared and he caught her watching.

Their eyes met and they stared at each other. Brooke could practically the static electricity.

Lucas blinked a couple of times, his gaze still steady. "You every think about getting married?"

"No." Her heart beat a little louder in her chest at the statement, even though he'd already asked her once before. She could almost hear the can of worms opening with a 'pop' in the background.

"How come?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Just not for me, I guess."

"No one serious, then?"

"No." and this conversation needed to stop soon. Nervously, she ran the tip of her tongue across her dry lips, glancing away. "No one serious."

His voice dropped. "How come?"

It wasn't exactly the kind of intimate conversation she'd planned on having with him the next time she saw him. And she should really just tell him to mind his own damn business. Not that that had worked so ar. But somehow the fact that he had opened up about Peyton, even in passing, made him more human to her. Not that she was about to jump in with all her own deep psychological reasons for being single.

So she went with the first easy reason she could think of under pressure. "Not everyone thinks marriage is an immediate ticket to the land of fulfilment."

His small snort of laugher brought her eyes back to his face in time for her to see the twist of his lips. "Oh, I'm aware of that."

She grimaced. "Oh, Lucas, I'm sorry. I'm usually more sensitive to other people's feelings than that."

He considered her words, and then answered them with a blunt, "Are you?"

The question put her back up. Did she come across that cold and unthinking? She straightened her spine in the soft chair. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"I know Brooke, it's actually nice to get some honesty. I've always loved that about you."

Without thinking about the fact that Lucas was still in front of her, she allowed the tears to well at the back of her eyes. Why was it always him who saw right through her?

Lucas frowned when the first tear spilled over her lashes. "Hey. C'mon, Brooke, I didn't mean to upset you."

Brooke stiffened and turned her head to one side as she brushed the errant tear from her cheek. "No, you're right. Thank you for your honesty and all you help this past couple of days."

"What are friends for?" He kept his voice low while forcing himself not to move closer to her and offer her a hug of comfort. Despite the strong urge he had to do just that. Somehow he knew she wouldn't be comfortable with that any more than the fiercely independent seventeen year old from years ago would have been.

"You've been great. I don't know why Haley didn't just ask you to watch the kids. I mean I've been so busy I haven't even really spent any time with them, I'm lucky Jamie doesn't hate me."

He smiled. "Jamie adores you Brooke. He told me he thinks you're doing a great job."

Brooke swallowed again, and opened her mouth to say something more. But Lucas took a breath and spoke. This time in a silkily persuasive tone. "I have an idea, though."

Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. 'What kind of an idea?"


	6. Chapter 6

"You're having fun. Admit it."

Brooke smiled and hoisted Lydia up against her waist. "Okay, I'm having fun." She glanced at Lucas from the corner of her eye. "But more importantly, they're having fun. That's what this was all about, after all."

She watched as Jamie took Lucas' hand and dragged him across to look at the monkey enclosure. For the first time in her career Brooke had delegated writing the contract to her assistant, Millicent. But it was worth the feeling of guilt she'd had when she'd asked her to work on a Saturday to see the joy on the children's faces when they had arrived at the zoo. And to hear the laughter that had ensured ever since.

The trip had been a stroke of genius. And she has Lucas to thank for it.

"Thank you. This was a great idea." Which would probably not have been half as much fun if he hadn't been there. He's made it fun all day.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her with a smile on his face. "You're very welcome."

The smile was infectious, and Brooke couldn't help but laugh. "You're really not for real, are you?"

Raising his large hands, he patted his palms along the front of his chest. "I'm very definitely real."

She shook her head. "You're having as much fun with this as they are. A grown man having fun at the zoo. That's why you're so good with them; mentally you're the same age."

He laughed. "Ah, no, you can't go blaming that old 'men are kids at heart' thing. It's the zoo, Brooke. It's compulsory to have fun here. I loved coming her with my mom and Keith. You can't tell me you grew up in Tree Hill and didn't come here before."

"I did." She looked across at Jamie again, to make sure he was still safely within her sight. "We had a felid trip her once." With her eyes still on Jamie, she began to walk forwards as the moved to the next enclosure.

There was something in her tone as she said the words that sparked his attention. Something underlying – perhaps even a small current of resentment? What was with that?

Curios, he fell into step beside her, adjusting his usual long stride to hers. "You're quite the mystery, Brooke Davis."

"Am I?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Just because I didn't make an annual visit to the zoo?"

He smiled. 'Well, there's that. Then there's the fact that you honestly didn't believe that you would enjoy this, did you?"

"I will admit to having my doubts when you talked me into it."

"And in nearly killed you to hand over responsibility to Milly, didn't it?"

Another turn of her head in his direction. "Oh, yeah."

"Mmm." He nodded his head, gave her a quick glance as he pursed his lips in thought, then asked. "So the mystery would be how you went from high school Brooke, Miss Life of the party to someone who struggles taking the odd sick day to have some fun?"

"I have fun," she answered, with an almost petulant pout of her bottom lip. "I have loads of fun."

Lucas quirked a brow in disbelief. "Doing what?"

"My work is fun. I get to travel to fashion shows all over the world, I go to fancy parties with celebrities and meets loads of interesting people. That's fun."

"That's work fun."

"It's still fun, though."

"It's not the same as taking a day to go play with kids at the zoo, though."

"No, I guess it's not." And she knew he was right about that. Did he ever get tired of being right? Though with the new information she'd gleaned the night before she also had to wonder if being right about so many other things was any consolation for having been so wrong about one very big thing.

Even so, he was on the money with the zoo trip. And about how little time she had ever taken with her niece and nephew to have this kind of fun before. Not that she hadn't spent time with them. She always made time at Christmas, and on their birthdays. She was very conscientious about those kinds of things. But it wasn't quite the same, was it?

Which made her wonder if it was something lacking in her personality that stopped her from having this kind of fun, or if she had merely kept herself at arm's length from them to avoid the realization that she didn't have any maternal instincts. Just like her own mother.

"Oh, no, you don't.' Lucas' voice sounded close beside her as he stopped and took Lydia from her arms, to bounce her a couple of times before holding her close. "No going all introverted today."

"I wasn't.' She watched with a small smile as Lydia laughed and cooed up at her uncle. Apparently his attractiveness to women started very young.

"Yeah, you were. I remember that look. You used to do it back in high school – fade off whenever things got to real. Then paste on that smile and change the subject, usually to something dirty."

A flush crept up over her cheeks. "I can't help it if I'm a highly intelligent woman who does a lot of thinking."

"I'm not saying you're not intelligent. I'm just saying you have a tendency to think too much and keep too much inside. He nuzzled Lydia's dark curls and spoke in a baby voice. "Yes, she does – doesn't she, Lydia Bob?"

"And you don't ever overthink things, Broody."

"I think plenty. But I try not to obsess."

"You think I do?"

"Yes, I do." Lydia was jiggled up and down again in time to his, "Yes – I – do – indeed."

They stopped in unison, a few steps away from where the Jamie had discovered a play area. After a moment, Brooke sighed. "Okay. Maybe I do."

Lucas smiled softly at the confession. "See, now we're making some headway, don't you think."

Her focus still on the children, Brooke scowled a little. "You see this day as some kind of therapy session for me, do you?"

"Maybe for all of us. The kids needed a day of fun with you, Aunt Brooke. And their Aunt Brooke definitely needed a day of fun with them. And I needed an excuse to get to the zoo again. My mom stopped bringing me when I started middle school."

"Poor you."

After a moment of silence Lucas turned sideways and studied her profile. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Now you're asking permission?" She looked at him with a teasing light to her eyes.

He smiled right back. "I think I've been fairly lucky to get away with so much so far, haven't i?"

"Yes, you have."

"Well, then, maybe it's better if I ask for permission before I ask you something big."

Her mouth went dry. Uh-oh. What was he going to ask? She had to clear her throat before she spoke. "On what subject?"

"Ah, now, by telling you that I'd be asking the question, and I haven't actually been given permission yet, have I?"

Wise guy. She took a breath and let her curiosity get the better of her. "Go on then."

"What happened with us?"

She gaped at him. Well, hell.

"We were pretty good together, I thought."

She found her voice. "Yes, we were."

"So what happened?"

Turning her face away, she blinked as she mulled over the least dangerous of answers she could give him. After all how did she explain that she had loved him more than she had ever loved anyone and that's why she'd had to end it. She could risk being heartbroken again. It had to end on her terms. She couldn't just blurt that out. Their relationship had been so easy the last few days. She couldn't risk knocking him back with something blunt. Like the 'Just leave it alone' that was on the tip of her tongue.

"People just drift apart sometimes."

Lucas knew a cop-out when he heard one. "And that's what you're saying happened with us?"

She glanced back at him.

He shook his head. "I'm not buying it."

"It doesn't really matter now."

"I think it does, or you wouldn't have been trying so hard to keep me at arm's length since you moved back to Tree Hill."

His statement hit a nerve. He could see it from the slight rise of her delicate chin. What he's said earlier about her being a mystery was true. He'd touched on something big and he just knew it. And the part of him that has found it so difficult to just stay away from her was all the more intrigued by what that something was. Had he really known her at all when he's though he had before?

Which had brought him back to a question that had haunted him for a very long time. So he's finally allowed himself to ask it.

"Lucas…."

"Why did you push me away?"

"Lucas….

"No, come on. I'd like to know." He braved a step closure to her, jiggling Lydia as he went. "I need to know what I did…."

"What you did? Her tone was sharper, a defensive reaction to his persistence. "It wasn't like that, you didn't do anything."

The jiggling stopped as he frowned at her. "Brooke, I was so in love with you and you just ended it. Something had to of changed."

"No one did anything. Not everybody is Haley and Nathan. Not everyone is supposed to end out with their high school sweetheart. What did you think? That we would rind off into the sunset, live happily ever after?"

Lydia whimpered, forcing Lucas to focus on her and recommence the joggling she liked so much. He took a few long breaths and waited for their emotional words to dissipate in the air between them. Then, with more calmness than he felt inside, he answered with a matter-of-fact tone.

"I don't think happily ever after with you would have been all that bad. It actually sounds kind of perfect."

Her green eyes widened in surprise.

Lucas smiled slowly. She hadn't expected that one, obviously. "You can't say you never thought about it?"

Her head shook from side to side, the ends of her hair catching against her mouth.

He watched as she raised a hand to move the hair, his eyes focusing on her lips as she did it. And damn if he didn't feel a sudden urge to kiss her. As if their heated conversation about their relationship had suddenly made it a physical need.

He had the good sense not to try. "I told you a long time ago that I was guy for you Brooke Davis. I cared about you, loved you. I really did think we would live happily ever after."

"That's why it never could have worked."

She seemed as surprised as him that she'd said what she had. With a few blinks of her dark lashes she turned her face from his and took a long, deep breath.

Lucas didn't understand. "I don't understand."

"I know you don't." She forced her voice to stay strong. "But that's the way it is. So there's no point talking about it."

He still didn't understand. "I still don't get it."

She sighed, her chin dropping as she looked down at the ground with a small frown. "We both need to grow, and sometimes when you grow, you grow apart. We were on different paths and I think it was important that I backed off so you had the opportunity to move on and find someone else to fall for."

There was a brief moment of silence before he spoke. "That didn't turn out so well."

When she raised her head he had already turned away from her, and she felt a sudden need to reach out towards him, to say she was sorry that he hadn't got what he'd wanted. But it wasn't her fault. She had to stop trying to ease things for other people all the time. If she'd been a different person maybe it would have worked for them. Maybe they could have taken their relationship on into something deeper.

But Brooke didn't believe in 'happily ever after'. So what would have been the point?

"I wish it had worked out for you and Peyton, Luke. I really do." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper as she voiced her heartfelt words. : I know how much you wanted a family of your own one day. But that would never have happened with me, trust me. I don't know anything about what a happy family is like."

She stared at the picture he presented, with the cherub-like child in his arms, felt and ache in her chest she didn't want to feel. And then walked away to join Jamie.

Lucas stood stock still as she left. He jiggled Lydia a few more times and avoided the chubby fingers that grabbed at his nose. As he watched Brooke join Jamie, saw how he immediately lit up in her presence, he felt a cramp in his chest so strong it almost made him catch his breath. She'd needed a shove in the right direction with this day trip, but already she was opening up with the kids and they were flourishing under the strength of the attention.

If she really knew nothing about a happy family then her reaction to involvement certainly made more sense, she didn't trust herself to care, did she?

What he had to do now was decide whether or not he was prepared to try and give her a shove in the right direction one more time.

Because, heaven help him, all being with her did was make him want more. Again.


	7. Chapter 7

She was really starting to worry.

Haley still hadn't called to check in on the kids. And although Brooke could understand why that might have happened in the first day or two, while she and Nathan reconnected, she doubted that Haley would have gone so long without a single phone call.

And the underlying current of tension in the air with Lucas wasn't helping her.

While worrying about her friend was a constant niggle in her mind, being in Lucas' company since their conversation at the zoo was an unwanted constant burning ache.

She was walking a thin line between control and screaming like a Banshee. And it was now beginning to take on toll on her concentration at work.

"Are you okay, Brooke?"

She glanced you from her sketch at Millicent, her assistant of two years. "I'm fine – why?"

She perched herself on the edge of Brooke's desk and quirked an eyebrow at her. "You just don't seem like yourself. And while I appreciate the trust, you normal handle all of the contracts yourself."

She felt a pang of guilt to add to all the emotions currently churning around inside her. For a brief second all the churning did make her feel sick. "I'm fine."

"If you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed or something, I can always take on more responsibility."

Brooke avoided making eye contact and focused instead on her sketch. "I'm just trying to make sure I have this perfect.

Millicent glanced at the paper, learning forward a couple of inches. "Brooke this looks amazing."

She flushed a little at the praise.

"But the thing about being a good assistant is that you actually have to let me assist you. I'm just worried that you're pushing yourself too hard." She studied her face. "What can I do to help?"

Brooke swallowed, and forced herself not to cry.

"Now the contract is done, if you want to take some time off, I just want you to know that I really think I can handle the store by myself for a few days."

The very thought of relinquishing responsibility would normally have scared the life clean out of her. Her work had been the most important part of her life for so long. But, having spent time with the kids over the weekend, she felt a tug towards them now that she was back at work. It had been bad on Monday, but now, by Wednesday, it was awful. Almost as if they were her own children and she was being forced away from them. How on earth, she wondered, did the mother of a newborn do it?

It was something she'd never allowed herself to wonder about before.

"Milly, I think that sounds like a great idea."

Millicent patter her shoulder. "It's about time you took some time for yourself. We all need it from time to time, and you work harder than anyone in know. Take as long as you need. You know you can count on me."

She was suddenly very grateful for her assistant who Brooke knew worked just as hard as she did. And she was right the simple fact was that Brooke had a family of sorts who right now was more important that work that would always be there.

* * *

"You're home early."

She smiled at the scene that greeted her, where a week ago she would have been horrified. Her normally neat and ordered living room was scattered with cushions and blankets, with two little faces peeking out. It looked as if the house had been ransacked.

"Hi, Aunt Brooke! Come play with us."

Dropping her bag on the floor, and setting her folder of sketches on the table, she smiled down at Jamie. "What are you playing?"

Jamie crawled out from under a blanket. "We made a fort," he giggled. "And Uncle Lucas is a monster."

Brooke smiled, her dimples flashing. "Oh I know."

He smiled a very adult smile at her.

Which she met with a very childish poking out of her tongue. An action so out of character she even giggled as she did it.

He laughed. "Come on, come play."

Somehow the invitation took on a whole new meaning when he said it. Her mind formed a very vivid mental image of the kind of games two consenting adults could play surrounded by soft cushions and blankets.

Lucas saw the flush that touched her cheeks and continued to smile. "Don't be shy."

"Peeesssaaae, Aunt Brooke." Jamie jumped up and down and held his hands together to add to the pleading, which sent out a wave of giggles from Lydia, where she was crawling on the floor.

Brooke honestly couldn't remember the last time she had done something so completely childish. It felt awkward to her even thinking about it. Where did she begin?

"Chicken."

His challenge forced her forward. Slipping her heels off her feet, she didn't even stop to think of the consequences that crawling around on the floor would have on her linen trousers. With a scowling face and pursed lips combination she intended to look scary, she crawled after Jamie, who in turn giggled and crawled off into the fort.

* * *

Twenty minutes later she was exhausted and completely dishevelled. And she'd had a blast.

Jamie went off to the kitchen to get some juice, while Lydia snored loudly from the sofa, and Lucas appeared under the blanket fort next to her and shouted, "Hey, J. Luke, your Uncle could use some juice as well."

"Oh God, I just had a vivid flash of juice being spilt all over the kitchen." Leaning back against the sofa-edge. Brooke gripped the front of her shirt and flapped it back and forth in an attempt to cool down.

"There's a pretty good chance." He settled down beside her, shoulder to shoulder, and with a grin he poked her in the ribs. "You certainly helped with the mess in there, though, miss."

"I did, didn't I?" She giggled and squirmed away from his touch.

Lucas quirked an eyebrow, an outrageous twinkle of mischief in his eyes. "I seem to remember that you are quite ticklish."

"No, I'm not."

She'd answered too quickly, and his teeth glinted in the soft light of the 'fort. "Oh, yes." He reached for her ribs again. "You." And on the other side as she squirmed and laughed. "Are."

"Stop." She laughed and tried to squirm free. "Seriously!"

When she tried to roll away from him he pinned her with one long arm and continued his torture with the other hand, until tears were rolling down her face and her throat was sore from laughing.

Then he stopped.

He was over her, his upper body holding her beneath him, her breasts crushed against him. And they were both breathing hard. And staring.

They'd managed to forget the tension between them for the briefest of time. But suddenly Brooke felt it was back.

The smile fading from his face, Lucas continued to look into her eyes as he moved his hand from the ticklish spot at the base of her rib-cage. He smoothed his palm along the side of her body, curving in at her waist and then sweeping out until his hand rested against her hip.

Oh, yeah. The tension was back, all right.

The muscles in her stomach tingled. He was thinking about kissing her, wasn't he? The thing was, unlike years ago when she couldn't risk her heart knowing that he might have feelings for her best friend, this time there was no voice in the back of her mind telling her to run. She wanted to be kissed.

Just that simple. Nothing more. Just kissed. By Lucas. In a makeshift fort on her living room floor.

One afternoon of messing about with the kids and Lucas in a faux family scene and the part of her that was so commitment phobic seemed to have taken a momentary hike.

She knew there would be consequences to a kiss when she still wasn't sure about a relationship with him. But it didn't stop her from wanting the kiss. From wanting to find a way to break the tension.

* * *

Damn, he wanted to kiss her. He really did. But she'd run a mile, wouldn't she?

His gaze dropped to her lips, watched with fascination as the end of her tongue appeared and dampened them with one smooth stroke. And her doing that wasn't helping his self-control any.

He smoothed his thumb unconsciously against her hip, felt the rise and fall of her breasts against him as she breathed. Hell. He knew sexual tension when he felt it. Should know rightly what to do about it at his age.

And she wasn't exactly running away this time, was she? Maybe –

"Here's you juice, Uncle Luke."

Lucas closed his eyes for a brief second. It was a case of the cavalry arriving, he guessed. He opened his eyes and found Brooke smiling up at him.

"Saved by the juice," she whispered.

"Thanks, buddy. We'll be right out."

"Okay, I'll put it on the table."

Lucas smiled back at Brooke. "Thanks, Jamie."

But even though there was a clink of a glass on the tabletop they didn't move.

After a moment, Lucas aimed them in the general direction of normal conversation. "How do you think parents manage to get time to fool around?"

Brooke glanced towards the gap in their makeshift tent and then looked back at him. "I really don't know."

Taking a moment to rearrange his large body by her side, he continued to move this thumb back and forth against her hip as he asked in a low, deep rumble, "Did you ever catch your parents, you know…?"

She screwed up her nose, "First of all ewwww, second of all, I don't even remember my parents interacting, I mean apart from the yelling."

He continued to move his thumb back and forth in soothing strokes. "That bad?"

Brooke nodded with a single quirk of her eyebrows.

"Tell me about it?"

She shook her head. "I'd really rather not."

"Do you still see them?"

She nodded, "Really just on holidays, and not if I can help it."

The deadpan tone to her voice didn't escape him as he started to put some pieces together. "Does their relationship have anything to do with your reluctance to commit?"

It was yet another of those probing to close to home questions that he was so good at asking of late. She should have used it as an invitation to move away from him and shut him out again. But somehow, with the gentle touch of his hand against her hip and the safe cocoon of the blanket around them, she didn't feel the urge to run.

Maybe if she told him a little he would understand her reasoning better and realise that he wouldn't change her mind? Even though two minutes before she'd been more than ready to be kissed by him.

She took a breath. It was worth a try. "Yes, among other things."

"You aren't them though."

"No, I'm definitely not. But if I'm on my own than I know for sure that I won't hurt anyone and no one can hurt me."

Lucas was almost disappointed in her reasoning. Where was her fight? When he'd known her before she'd been feisty and determined in everything she aimed herself at. And she had the biggest heart of anyone he'd known. He'd been a firsthand recipient of her love, and she definitely knew how to love.

"Brooke have you tried opening yourself up to the idea of love."

"I've been in relationships." The thought that he saw her as some sad lonesome spinster irked her. She had dated, after all. She'd just not dated anyone who might look for anything serious, not since him.

"Not relationships, Brooke. Love. You might be missing out on something great. Don't you think?"

"That 'someone for everyone' theory?"

His head nodded.

Turning her head into a more comfortable position, she narrowed her eyes and asked, 'And you still believe that after everything you've been though with Peyton?"

It was a fair question. He kept looking her straight in the eye as he answered. "I have to believe it. I just got it wrong this time around, is all. People make mistakes. It doesn't mean that there's not still magic out there somewhere."

She blinked. "You've been spending too much time reading fairy tales to the kids."

"And you Cinderella are such a cynic that you might never even meet your prince charming. And that is just sad."

"No, I'm realistic. It's the world we live in that's sad."

He felt his heart twist as the shutters came back down over her eyes. She was closing him out again, and he didn't want to be closed out. All those very brief opening did was leave him wanting more. Leave him wanting to prove she was wrong. Maybe for himself as much as for her. Which was a leap, considering that up until a year ago he'd probably have agreed with a lot of the things she was saying now.

She tried to move away from him, so he tightened his hold on her hip. "What about those amazing kids out there? You had so much fun with them today. You laughed as much as they did. Nothing sad there."

"They're great kids."

"They're amazing kids. And there's a certain amount of magic in that, isn't there?"

He was right.

"A lot of that is thanks to Haley and Nathan. They adore them."

"So do you, and they adore you right back. Unconditional love, Brooke. It's a pretty amazing feeling. Isn't it? And it's not easy to find and I'll bet you're not sure if finding it is worth it if in the process you have to have your heart broken."

It was the first time she felt like he might actually understand, and she softened at his side. She glanced up at the gap in the blanket and raised her head an inch to listen for the children. She could hear the sounds of Jamie playing NBA on the PS4, interjected every so often with the soft snores of his sister.

She felt safe here with him. She hadn't felt this way in a long time and she needed to change the subject before all her secrets tumbled out. "Do you think I should be worried that Haley and Nathan haven't called?"

"She still hasn't called. It's not like Hale's to go this long without calling."

The niggle in her stomach returned. "I'm worried, Luke."

"You think there's something wrong?"

The niggle became a bad dose of indigestion. "I don't know, but like you said, it's not like her."

"What can we do?"

We. It stunned her, the strength there was in such a small word. She hadn't been a 'we' in so long. It intimated at not being alone, at having someone to lean on in moments when she was scared or couldn't quite find the strength to get through. It suggested sharing and caring. At intimacy on a level that went way beyond the physical.

And it scared her.

Her voice went cool. "I've taken some time off work so I can sort things out."

"Well, then, we'll we can try and track them down at the marriage retreat."

There he went with the 'we' thing again.

"No, it's okay. You've given up enough time as it is. I can take it from here."

It was like a slap in the face. He slowly removed his hand from her him. "I see."

Brooke felt her heart twist painfully at the time in his voice, so she backtracked some. "It's not that I don't appreciate what you've done…"

He nodded and pushed his body away from her. "Right."

She closed her eyes when he began to unfold his large frame and remove himself from the cocoon they'd been sharing. Somehow she had to find a way of letting him know how much his help had meant to her, while not encouraging him too much. Because there had always been a time when she was going to let him go again, hadn't there?

But somehow the letting him go wasn't as easy as she'd planned. Even the thought of it was already an ache on top of an older ache.

Inside a few brief moment she'd scrambled out and stood up, smoothing her hands along her trousers. He was already tying his trainers on, sitting in the one chair left free.

"I'm sure the kids would like it if you stayed for dinner."

"He didn't look up. "The kids. Right."

His coldness, and the ache in her chest, forced frustration into her voice. "What do you want from me, Lucas? I've already told you the way things are with me."

"Yes, you have." He finished tying his laces with an angry tug and the stood up suddenly, towering over her smaller frame. "But what you haven't done is admit why you're so desperate to push me away every chance you get."

She felt very small, overwhelmed by the sheer size and absolute maleness of him. With a fortifying breath, she tilted her head back to look up into his angry face. "I've told you I don't want a serious relationship."

"I haven't asked for a serious relationship in the here and now yet, have I? "

It was true, he hadn't. He'd said that that was what he would have wanted in the past. But in the here and now all he'd done was try to be a friend, to get her to open up and trust him. He'd offered help and friendship. It was where that friendship would lead that worried her.

He took a step closer until his body almost touched hers. "Face facts. You're pushing me away because you see me as a threat. Which means you must still have some kind of feelings for me, in some way."

She held her ground, stayed perfectly still while her heart beat so hard she was sure he must be able to hear it. "I wish we could be friends again. I do. But you're right. I don't trust myself. I can't trust myself. Last time I let you in it nearly broke me. Can you guarantee that won't happen again?"

There was a flicker in his dark blue eyes. "You think this is easy for me, Brooke? I gave my whole hart to you and you handed it back to me and to be honest, I'm still not sure what I did wrong."

"She really never told you?"

"Who, never told me what?"

Brooke released a shaky breath, "Peyton. She never told you the real reason for our fight. The reason for our break up."

He looked confused but didn't say anything, so she continued explaining Peyton's ill-timed confession.

"Wait so it was never about the kiss in the library?" he finally asked.

"Well it didn't help with my insecurity's."

"Brooke, why didn't you tell me about this back then? I thought it was me ,that I had done something wrong, you said… you said you didn't miss me anymore."

Her face softened and he could see the tears forming behind her eyes. "Luke, I missed you so much and I was holding on to you for dear life. I realized it shouldn't be that hard, I shouldn't have to hold on by myself you should have been holding on right back. But instead you were always saving her. It was inevitable that you realized that she was the one you wanted. I thought if I ended it first it wouldn't hurt as much."

"Brooke, I …." He stepped toward her.

"Please don't. Within a few months you and Peyton were together and i knew I'd made the right choice." She snapped the words up at him. "So now you know. I can't just unlock that door again, Luke. Not with you."

He frowned in confusion. "Brooke the only reason Peyton and I ended up together was that you pushed me away. I get that you're scared that this might fail, but what if it's worth fighting for? If we got lucky this time there might be something pretty amazing here."

"And there might not be. Which would only prove me right."

"But it's the amazing things that are always the scariest." His voice softened as he reached out a hand to her face, ran a long finger along her jaw-line, from just below her ear to her chin, then moved away, "And the things most worth fighting for. And that'd what's really scary."


	8. Chapter 8

"Brooke, its Nathan. We've had a car accident."

The world flew away from under her feet. No matter what reassurance Nathan gave her about them both being 'all right now', it wasn't enough. She needed to be there and see for herself.

She hung up the phone in a daze. Then paced up and down for what felt like an age. Then, despite the air that had been between them when he'd last left her house, it was Lucas she went to without a single thought.

* * *

The face that greeted him at his front door knocked back the cool response he'd prepared when he saw her cross the street.

"Brooke, what's wrong?"

"I need your help." She was shaking as he reached out and tugged her through the doorway. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." He leaned his head down to examine her face with concerned eyes. "What's happened? Are the kids okay?"

"No, they're fine. They're playing with my assistant Milly."

"Then what is it?"

"It's Haley and Nathan. They've been in a car accident."

Lucas' eyes widened. "Are they okay?"

Brooke gulped and looked over his shoulder at the coffee-coloured wall behind him. Somehow in her present emotional state she doubted she could look him in the eye as well. Not while he was using that soft tone and had his hand on her arm, smoothing up and down in silent reassurance. It would just be too much. And she didn't deserve it after the way things had been left between them.

She managed a nod. "Nathan's says he's okay, but Haley's in the hospital in Boston."

With a couple of blinks she dropped her chin and looked for one of the nice, safe buttons on his shirt. "I have to go see her, Nathan says she's okay, but I won't be sure until I see her."

"Of course."

"I know I have no right to ask, but I was wondering if you could mind the kids while I drive up there."

He was silent until she looked up into his eyes. "I don't think that's the best plan."

How could he? He was going to use this as a way of getting back at her? Brooke went cold.

"You're in no state to be driving all that way on your own. I'll take you."

It really was about time she had a little more faith in his strength of character, wasn't it? Her heart thawed around the edges at his concern. Was this what it would be like to have someone like him around? Someone who thought about her welfare, her needs?

But she had to think of the two little people needier than herself. "I don't think the kids should come along just yet. It might be scary for them."

"Have you told Jamie?"

She shook her head. "No. I only got the call a few minutes ago. This was the first place I thought to come."

The smile was immediate. His hand stopped its smoothing on her arm and squeezed once before departing. "Let me call my mom and see if she can look after them. Lilly would love to have the playmates, like a slumber party. And we'll be back before they know there's anything wrong."

Already he was taking control, organising what needed to be done. And Brooke felt herself calm down. He was right. She was in no fit state to drive all the way to Boston. It was hours away and already hitting late morning as it was. It would be late by the time they got there. The sensible, rational part of her mind realised there was a very good chance she'd panic the whole way there, and that didn't make for a safe driver.

But still there was another part of her that recognised that leaving them would make her the second important female figure to leave them in a short space of time. And that didn't sit well on her. "I don't think I can leave them."

"Jamie loves to play with Lilly and you know my mom will be happy to take them. They'll be fine."

She opened her mouth to speak.

But he beat her to it. "I'm going to call my mom. You go home and pack a bag, and I'll come get you in half an hour. The sooner we go, the sooner we'll be back."

* * *

It took more than half an hour in the end. Brooke took a lot of time fussing, making sure the children had everything they might need. Come rain, snow, sleet or gale winds. Jamie barely dragged himself away from his game with Lilly to say goodbye.

It was Lydia who clung to her with pudgy arms that held her neck in a vice grip.

Brooke smelled the fresh, baby powder scent of her and held on, rocking her in her arms tears welled in the back of her eyes. "I'll be back really soon, Lydi, I promise."

She felt a firm, warm hand against her back and then Lucas' deep voice sounded in her ea. "We have to go, honey. Let me have her a minute."

Lydia's arms loosened as Lucas looked down into her face. "C'mon, pretty girl, let's go bounce. You wanna bounce?"

Sweeping the beginning of tears from her lashes. Brooke watched him bounce Lydia up and down in a more exaggerated way than he had on their day at the zoo. He bounced some more until Karen lifted her from his arms and repeated the bouncing, so Lydia barely had time to register the change-over. It was very cleaver, so very thoughtful. And it brought a lump to her throat.

As he turned towards her she smiled without any deeper thought than the fact that that was what he made her do. Simply by the things he did. He made her smile most when she saw him with the kids, especially Lydia. He would make one hell of a dad someday.

He was in front of her in two strides, his hand reaching out to cup her elbow. "Let's get going."

She nodded at his soft words and turned to Karen. "I can't thank you en…."

"Then don't. Just go make sure that Haley and Nathan are okay. The kids will be fine here."

Lucas was still mulling over the look she'd worn on her face when Karen had hugged her even as they left Tree Hill far behind. The thoughtful gesture had caught her off guard. He knew his mom had always been fond of Brooke. Concentrating on driving gave him time to take some small comfort from that fact. Karen had always commented on how much she admired Brooke's independence and strength. The last few days with her however had started Lucas thinking that perhaps that independence was more out of necessity and that her strength was more a vail.

They drove in silence for another few miles.

"Did I ever really know you?"

The softly spoken question almost tore her in half. She swiftly turned her face to the passenger window, watching with tear-filled eyes as the scenery passed by in a rain swept haze. "I probably never let you close enough to."

"Or I didn't ask the right questions."

"Maybe."

He glanced at her reflection. "Haley will be fine. Nathan would have told us if she wasn't."

Brooke smiled a soft smile at him in the glass. "I know. I just want to see her. Then I'll be fine too."

There was a nod as he looked forward again.

When he went quite Brooke found herself gathering confidence from his silent strength. Just by being there he made her feel that everything would be okay. It was something very new to her, taking strength from someone else. And it made her curious about what made up the kind of person who would give so much when they were constantly rebuffed.

And he was right. He hadn't really known her as well as he's thought when they were younger. But it wasn't because she hadn't wanted him to. It was just that she had liked how she saw herself through his eyes. He had admired her strength, coaxed out her laughter, and stimulated her mind. And under that attention she had blossomed. She hadn't wanted to be reminded of other things. So she had never allowed them to be brought up in conversation.

But it had been dishonest of her. She had owed him more than that. Still did, in a way.

More composed, she turned and studied his profile, hesitating for just a moment. "You didn't have to do this."

"Yeah, I did." He smiled, his eyes still focused forward. "I'm you knight in shining armour, remember?"

She couldn't help herself. "Why did she let you go? Peyton?"

The smile faded at her softly spoken question. He flexed his fingers against the steering wheel. "Are you going to use the fact that my relationship with her didn't work to prove your theory?"

"What?"

He didn't look at her. "You've told me about your parent's and about what really happened with you and Peyton. It's all proof of your great lonely plan for life. I won't add to that, Brooke."

The air within the car changed. "I thought you didn't want us to argue."

"I don't."

"So it's all right for you to ask me questions, but not all right when it's the other way around?"

Lucas sighed, his fingers flexing and un-flexing again. "That relationship is over, it has nothing to do with you and me."

"There isn't a 'you and me'."

"Yes, Brooke." He looked her straight in the eye for a brief, charged moment. "There is. Whether you choose to accept it or not."

"Just because I came to you for help?"

"Because I was the first person you thought of." There was a momentary break as he negotiated a turn. "And that means something. I still care."

"How can you?" She asked in astonishment. "I haven't given you any encouragement!"

"No, not in the usual way, you haven't." his smile was rueful. "But one thing you said was right, I guess. I do see that as a challenge. I see you as challenging. Because I don't think you want to be alone, Brooke. Not really."

Her eyes were wide as he turned and looked at her and added, "Any more than I do."


	9. Chapter 9

After eight hours – most of which had been spent in awkward silence - the tension in the car was almost intolerable. Brooke needed to be away from the consuming sense of loneliness she felt. Lucas was right. She was lonely. Not the kind of lonely that came from being alone, but feeling alone. The feeling that no one in the world understood her, that no one truly cared for her.

"Lucas, please pull over." She asked, just above a breath.

"Umm there's a rest stop just off this exit. Are you feeling sick?" he glanced at her with concern in his eyes, before signalling to change lances.

"Please just stop."

He pulled the car into the rest stop off the interstate and before he had even completely stopped the car, she had her seat belt off and the door open. When she finally made it into the open air, the years of loneliness washed over her. The emotion was too strong to hold back. And the fact that she didn't have the strength to hold it back made her angry. Angry as hell.

Lucas came around the car to find her pacing up and down on the damp grass. "Are you okay?"

"I needed air."

Stepping forward, he reached out a hand to halt her pacing. She in turn wrenched her arm out of his reach and swung on her heel to face him, with her eyes sparking. "Don't. Just don't. There's no way you can possible understand how I feel right now."

"Not if you won't tell me."

"Why should I tell you?"

He took a breath. "Because you need to tell someone, that's why. You can't keep bottling all this stuff inside. I'm here Brooke, I told you I'm not going anywhere."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why are you here? Why do you even care? A year ago you were all set to marry Peyton."

"How did this become about Peyton? I've told you, I've moved on." He reached again, his voice soft. "What is going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Stop!" her voice cracked as she avoided his touch once more, swinging her arm out to her side. "I can't do this with you again. I was in control of my life. I didn't need help from anyone, I didn't feel like I needed to rely on anyone."

His arm dropped to his side as he accepted the fact he wasn't going to get within ten feet of her. So he stood and let her get it all out.

The tears were flowing now. Many years' worth of tears. "And now I'm starting to want you around."

"That's not a bad thing, Brooke."

"Yes it is. I can't need you so much when you don't need me. I don't want to be your rebound."

There was an abrupt silence. Then Lucas simply blinked. "Brooke, you were always my first choice."

"No. No I wasn't. Twice you left me for Peyton."

"No Brooke, you broke up with me, pushed me away, and told me time and time again that I should be with Peyton. I thought you didn't love me. I never stopped loving you." The words knocked the wind out of her sails and she stopped her pacing, rooted to the spot as she stared at him. The anger seemed to die suddenly, her wide eyes blinking.

He braved a step forward and pulled her slowly towards him, his voice soft. "You told me you didn't miss me anymore. It broke my heart. What was a supposed to do?"

She stopped when she was still at arm's length, struggling against his firm hold while her voice rose again. "I lied. I missed you then and every day since"

He held her in place. "I wish you had told me then how you really felt."

A sob racked her body. "I don't think I'm ready for any of this right now."

"I know. And I won't push you." He finally managed to pull her all the way in and freed one arm to lift his hand to her head. He faltered his palm, ran it down over her hair, soothing her while he pulled her closer. "But this is a start. Being honest with each other."

As her head come to rest against his chest she took a breath. "No one has every fought for me like you have."

He held her in silence, smoothing his hand against her hair until her breathing slowed and she sniffed loudly. Then he took a shaky breath of his own. "I will always fight for you. Always."

After a few minutes Brooke raised her head, tilted it back and looked up into his face. She knew that face so well, remembered if from days when they had laughed together. It felt like a lifetime ago. And all she'd done since was teach herself how to shut down emotionally. She'd laughed less with each passing year.

She didn't want to be that lonely any more. Even if it was just for a little while.

Reaching a hand up from his chest, she curled it around his neck, let her fingers tangle in the curse hair she found there. Then she tugged.

He stayed still, held himself tall. "No."

Her eyebrows rose in questions.

"I'm not going to kiss you. That's the last complication you need right now."

It was the very last thing she'd expected to hear him say. She'd got this really wrong, hadn't she? She was such a mess – whereas less than a week ago she'd felt so in control of her world. Or so she'd thought.

Had she really mistaken an offer of friendship for something more? Had she wanted there to be something more so very much?

"It's not that I don't want to."

So she wasn't actually losing her powers of intuition. She tugged on his neck again.

Lucas lifted the hand from her hair and gently untangled her smaller hand from his neck. "But I'm not going to here and now. I don't want to take advantage of an emotionally charged situation."

Brooke couldn't look him in the eye, despite his smile of reassurance. She was more humiliated than she'd ever felt in her entire life. "Forget about it."

Allowing her to pull back against his arm, he held onto her long enough to make one final comment. "Know one thing, though. It will happen. Just not right now."


	10. Chapter 10

They saw Nathan first. And as they walked with him along the corridor towards Haley's room the injuries to his face from the airbag in the car made Brooke's stomach churn. But the churning abated when the door opened and her eyes fell on her friend's smiling face.

As Lucas had predicted, she was fine. Well, as fine as she could be, with a couple of cracked ribs and associated bruising.

After some talk about how it had happened, Brooke was happy her friends were okay. But when Haley babbled about how much she missed her children a churning of a different kind grew.

"I can't believe you left me in charge."

Haley quirked her eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Haley you could have died and you left those precious little angels with me."

"Well Brooke, you are their God mother. Its kinda part of the job. Plus I can't think of anyone better to take over if I'm not there."

"Please don't talk like that. I can't lose you Hale's." Brooke gingerly leaned over the hospital bed to pull her friend into a hug.

A short nurse hurried into the room brandishing a clipboard. "You two can't be in here, it's well past visiting hours. You'll have to come back in the morning."

Brooke glanced at her watch, realising for the first time that it was after midnight.

Lucas placed a hand on her lower back. "We can find a motel close by and come back in the morning. Haley and Nathan should rest anyway.

Brooke hugged Haley again and gave Nathan a kiss in the cheek promising to bring coffee and donuts when the sun came up.

* * *

"That's sorted. They had a cancellation, so we're in." He smiled at her, his white teeth glinting in the dim light.

Raising her head, she smiled back at him. A simple, genuine smile. Then her mind put together what he'd just said. "A cancellation?"

"It's a twin room, so don't panic. I just hope you brought some sensible pyjamas."

Her pulse fluttered at the thought of sharing a room with him. Even one with twin beds. There was an intimacy involved that she hadn't experienced in a long time.

He didn't miss her hesitancy. "We're not going to get anywhere else at this time of night."

"I know."

After a moment he looked down at the gravel at his feet, deep in thought. Then he raised his head, pinned her with his fathomless eyes and stepped towards her. Brooke pushed her body away from the car, stood a little taller, knowing in doing so that she wasn't discouraging his approach. In fact she might as well have been daring him to make a move.

She smiled a little shyly. Trying to let him see that things had changed.

When he was inches away from her he looked into her eyes and laughed a low laugh. It was a deep, rumbling sound that seemed to shake his broad chest before it made its way into the air. "Don't go giving me that look, Brooke Davis."

She continued to smile back at him. "What look?"

"Oh, you know what look. You're flirting with me."

Tilting her head to one side, she blinked, her voice husky. 'I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm just glad you found a room."

He laughed again, waggled a long finger at her. "You're doing it again. Quit."

With a tilt forward onto her toes, she closed the minuscule gap left between their bodies, still looking up at him with her head to one side.

"I feel like I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders." She shrugged the shoulders under discussion. "And now it doesn't seem so heavy any more. That's all. I guess it's liberating."

The smile he gave her was affectionate, and he reached the previously waggled finger forward and gently brushed her hair back behind in ear, his fingers lingering there. "You let a lot of stuff out. That was a big thing."

Brooke continued to smile, before she felt the wave of shyness roll over her once more. Standing back on the flat of her feet, she looked at her favourite button on his shirt. The button at the base of his strong neck, where a steady pulse was beating.

"You okay?"

"This is just a bit strange, I guess."

"What I find strange is that you've managed to spend so much time together over the last week without anything happening."

Without thinking, she raised her hand and toyed with the button, twisting it between her thumb and forefinger.

Lucas lifted her chin up so her eyes met his. "Last time you ran. Will you run this time too?"

"I don't want to run. I'd like to see what comes next."

"You have a lot on your plate right now….."

"That's not a reason to step back, though. Is it?"

It wasn't? Lucas was having to exert every ounce of self-control he had. It was getting to be a constant inner battle when she was around. And he was only human, after all. But there was a fine line in operation here, and he knew it. He didn't want to be Brooke's 'rebound' in her emotionally suppressed life. He wanted something longer-lasting than that. And somehow he had a feeling that to lose her now would be even more painful than it had been when they were younger.

It was going to take a little time, that was all. "You have no idea how hard it is not to kiss you right now."

The smile she gave him was seduction personified.

"Brooke, stop it."

The hand on the bottom stilled, then rose to touch the side of his face. His hand landed on her hers, holding it against his skin.

For a second he closed his eyes, let the sensation of her touch wash over him. "I think we should get to know each other better this time."

She continued smiling. "Oh, so do I."

The statement raised another small burst of laughter. "That wasn't what I meant." Tangling long fingers wither hers against his cheek, he lifted her hand from his face, keeping their fingers entwined. "We could do with taking things slow."

When she raised an eyebrow in question, he added in a low rumble, "There are other ways of being intimate."

"There are?" Brooke was surprised at the breathless tone to her voice.

Lucas nodded, slowly and deliberately.

And her throat went dry. "Such as?"

Tangling his fingers in and out of hers, he rubbed his thumb back and forth against the soft flesh at the base of her thumb. "You'll have to trust me."

That was just the thing, though. She already did, didn't she? It wasn't just a lot of old teenage angsts and emotional constipation she was letting go of, thanks to him. It was also her inability to trust someone who was able to touch her heart. And that was a big step. One that had been creeping up on her of late and she hadn't even noticed.

To have trusted him with the children, to have accepted his help. To have gone to him first when she had a crisis, and more than anything to have let him get to know the real her. All those things told her that trust was already in place. He was special.

"I do trust you, Lucas."

His thumb stilled. He blinked at her for several long, heart-worming moments, and then leaned forward and pressed his warm mouth against her cool temple. He lingered there for a long time, breathed in deeply the scent of her hair, and then removed his mouth and preplaced it with his forehead, his eyes looking deep into hers, up close.

Brooke smiled. She couldn't seem to stop smiling. It was one of the most intimate moments she had experienced in a long time. And that was just from a kiss on the forehead. Where would the amazing journey take her next?


	11. Chapter 11

The first place it took her was to what could turn out to be a cringingly embarrassing night sharing a room with him after all that had happened. Given the choice, it might have been easier to spend a few hours away from him, to take it all in and think about what was happening.

But maybe, if she'd believed in fate, she might have thought it was a good thing they had to share. Because that way she couldn't run – couldn't take a moment to step back and over think. And even though she's told him she wanted to see what com next, there was no guaranteeing that a little time away from him wouldn't have sent her back to thinking the same insecure thoughts that had had her running from him before. After all, she was working against years of old habits. She could hardly be expected to change overnight.

By sharing she didn't have time to over-think, in the way he had so rightly accused her of doing once before. She just had to live for the moment. Experience it as it happened, without tearing it to shreds.

And even though that decision stopped her cringing, she was most definitely embarrassed. And self-conscious. And nervous. And filled with anticipation.

A lot of conflicting emotions to feel while standing in a tiny bathroom.

She finished brushing her teeth, smoothed her hands down over her stripped pyjamas. And took a deep breath.

"Have you fallen in?"

A smile crossed her face as his voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"I promise not to peek if you're wearing something sexy."

Liar. She laughed softly.

"Though, just out of curiosity, are you?"

She laughed louder, the sound echoing off the tiled walls. "I could just sleep in here, you know."

There was a 'click' from just past the door, and then his voice sounded in a low grumble. 'Lights off. Come to bed."

Oh, and just who was flirting now? After a moment's worth of calming thoughts, she opened the door and used the light from the small bathroom to give her her bearings. She could see the dark shape of Lucas lying in the narrow bed furthest from her, but because the small arc of light fell on the foot of his bed, she couldn't make quite make out what side he was lying on, or whether or not his eyes were open. Until his voice sounded again, husky in the dim light.

"You know, my switching off the light would have worked if you hadn't left that light on behind you. I can see lots with that light in."

Brooke's eyes widened as she realised she was lit from behind. How much could her see? He hand reached for the pull string as she simultaneously launched herself at the nearer bed.

He chuckled beside her.

After some shuffling beneath the covers the room become silent and she held her breath, listening for him. She couldn't even hear him breathing. And then he laughed as they both exhaled in unison.

"Well, this isn't at all awkward." She whispered across at him, turning in his direction.

His bed creaked as he moved. "It's been an eventful day, one way or another."

"Yes, it has."

"We should do something fun tomorrow, to balance it out, don't you think?"

The reasoning brought a smile to her face. She was almost certain he had a smile on his face. As she closed her eyes she could almost see it. The sparkle in his dark eyes, the laughter lines creasing on either side. His face was indelibly pained on her brain.

"You asleep?"

She continued smiling. "No."

"So tell me something I don't know."

"You need more already? You've got more in a few days than most people ever get."

His voice was laced with affection. "I know. So let's try something simpler. Something that no one else knows about you."

Sharing simple details. Was this another example of the intimacy he had talked about? Her heart fluttered. Lying in the darkness with Lucas, talking about things that no one else knew, was intimate. It was sharing. It was trusting someone else. It was another validation of the things that were already there between them. The fact that he was still validating it for them both touched her.

"I brush my hair one hundred times before I go to bed."

His laughter was throaty this time, and sounded so close that it was almost as if his head was on a pillow next to hers. "No wonder you were in the bathroom so long."

She laughed back. "I read once that it was good for the scalp."

"Mmm, a girl thing."

"Like throw cushions?"

"Exactly like throw cushions."

Their breathing filled the silence again. Then Brooke spoke. "Your turn."

"I like chocolate milk on my cereal."

"Oh, so that's were Jamie got that. Or did you get that from him."

"I prefer to think of it as a joint discovery that we will not be telling Haley about." He rustled his covers as he moved again. "Your turn."

She hesitated for a moment. "I'm glad you came with me today. It's the first time I've felt truly connected to someone in a long time."

The confession was met with another rustle. "Give me your hand."

She reached out in the darkness until his warm fingers caught her and held on. He wrapped their fingers together and ran his thumb over the sensitive skin where her pulse was beating.

"I'm glad I was here too."

Her thumb echoed the movement against his wrist. It was enough. Just those simple words and the holding of hands. It was enough after all she'd been through in less than twenty-four hours. And for the first time in years she felt safe.

Lucas heard her breathing deepen, felt her hand getting heavier. And he smiled again in the darkness, more hopeful than he'd felt in years.

"Brooke?" He whispered her name.

"Yes?" she whispered back, in a sleepy voice.

"If you'd worn something sexy I'd have peeked."

She sighed, with a smile in her voice. "I know you would have. I might even have wanted you to."


	12. Chapter 12

First thing in the morning, the continued intimacy of secret-swapping found her persuaded into one of the famous ferry tours of Boston Harbour. Lucas had been stunned at breakfast when she had told him she'd never visited Boston before. So she hadn't had a lot of choice when he had announced his plan for fun in Boston to balance out everything else.

But it was worth it. Brooke couldn't remember having so much light hatred fun. They laughed the whole way through the trip as a tour guide told them tales of the area over a crackling sound system.

But the thing was that their fun was more than equally interspersed with yet more moments of intimacy. Moments when Lucas would rush her hair back, or place an arm around her waist to hold her safe when people jostled passed them on the ferry. Moments when she would rest her head on his shoulder as tears of laughter rolled down her checks, and moments when he would simply wrap his fingers with hers and hold on.

Like he did when they stepped of the ferry and walked hand in hand down the dock towards downtown, to look for presents for the kids.

He swung their joined hands gently back and forth. "Do you want to get them something fun, or something with educational value?"

"Tough choice." She grinned across at him. "Though I'll bet you'll pull a face if I say educational"

He pulled a face.

Brooke laughed. "I knew it. We'd better get something fun then, because I don't know if I could live with that face. "

"There's nothing wrong with my face."

"Most of the time, I'd agree."

"You see." He leaned the face under scrutiny a little closer to hers. "You think I'm adorable already."

"Oh, yeah, that's you." She stopped in the middle of the busy pedestrian area. "Cute as a puppy."

The hand-swinging stopped and he reached his other hand to tangle it with hers, so that both hands were held in his grasp. Then he glanced around them at the crowds of tourists, his fair brows rising before he looked back into her eyes, his breath fanning her face. "You're a little on the cute side yourself."

Of all the places she'd expected he would kiss her, the middle of a busy public street was pretty much last. But it was where he chose.

She should have learned to expect the unexpected with him.

He leaned his head down, his eyes still on hers. When her eyes widened he smiled, tilting his head so that his mouth would fit over hers. Then, less than in inch from her lips, he hesitated, quirked hiss brows in questions, almost as if he was seeking her permission.

So Brooke closed the gap. She'd wanted to be kissed by him for such a long time that any embarrassment she might have felt about their location faded. It didn't matter where. Just so long as it happened.

All the interspersed intimate moments had built a need inside her to a point that with any other man the act itself would probably have come a poor second. But this was Lucas, whose kiss had haunted her for years.

The first touch was gentle. Warm mouth to warm mouth, firm lips to soft. The simplest joining of male to female. Then Brooke moved her head a little, pressed her mouth a little firmer, and was rewarded with a smile against her lips before he accepted the silent invitation.

He took his time with it too, tilting his head one way, then releasing the pressure enough to lift his head for a heartbeat and tilt it the other wat to it to her again. And that was how he kissed her. One touch, then a tilt of the head and a touch from another angle. Then again, and angina, while Brooke felt as if a very old wound was being mended.

There was a loud wolf whistle aimed at them from a passer-by.

Pulling apart, they both laughed, and Brooke honestly felt as if she hadn't been kisses since their last kiss in high school. Every other kiss faded from her memory. She shone her eyes up at him. "I don't think I've ever been kissed in the middle of the street before."

He pressed a firmer, smacking kiss on her mouth and whispered, "Know you have," before he freed on of her hands and began to walk in step with her again.

Brooke swung their hands this time. "Do you want to head dome after we get the presents?"

"Mmm." He glanced over at her. "I thought you might want to go back to the hospital one more time."

She stopped swinging. "Visiting hours don't start again until 3pm. And we really need to get on the road to get back to the kids."

He nodded smiling.

They continued walking, moving a little closer to the shopfronts, so they could look through the large windows. "I think you're right, let's go with something fun."

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her temple. "Something fun it is."


	13. Chapter 13

"Do you ever actually work?"

"It's the beauty of working for yourself. You get to dictate your own hours."

"Yes, I get that bit." She tried her best to sidle past him without him reaching out to tickle her ribs. She failed, so continued on a giggle. "But you still have to do some writing."

Lucas smiled at her contortions to avoid him while she made dinner. "I work when I leave here."

"Really? Too what time?"

He shrugged. "Three or four."

"In the morning?" Her eyes widened in surprise. "Aren't you exhausted?"

The truth was that he was exhausted. But another truth was that he didn't want to be away from her for long. It seemed as if his need for her company was greater than his need for sleep. Quite possibly born of the fear that too much time away from her would give her too much time to think. And he knew where that might lead….

"I'm fine."

Turning her back to the counter top, she tilted her head and searched his face. "You'll drop if you keep going at this pace."

The smile was slow, and seeped with meaning. "Oh, I have plenty of stamina. Don't you worry"

Her laughter was musical.

He let his gaze wander from the top of her shinning dark crown of hair, down over her arched brows and from dimple to dimple until it rested on her mouth. When he spoke his voice was husky, and not just from lack of sleep. "I'm serious."

"So you say."

His eyes jerked back to meet hers. She was flirting with him again. Out and out, plain as the sparkle in her eyes, flirting. And suddenly he wasn't at all tired.

With a minuscule step forward he had her body pinned back against the counter. Then he moved his arms so that his palms were flat on the cool granite either side of her.

She let out a small gasp, but another quick search of her eyes told him it wasn't a gasp of fear. Uh-uh.

Her pupils were large and dark, her breasts rising and failing against his chest. She was turned on.

"When did you say Haley and Nate were coming to get the kids?"

Brooke's answer was breathless. "Day after tomorrow."

He nodded, his eyes moving over her face again as he tilted his head closer. 'I guess we'll have to do with more of the other kind of intimacy stuff 'til then."

There was more? Brooke wasn't sure she could take much more. She watched with wide eyes as he brought his head closer, his mouth wavering over hers.

But when she tried to meet him halfway he tilted he head away with a sensual smile.

"Uh-uh." He kept his mouth a mere inch from her skin as he moved his head to the neck she dutifully arched from him with a sigh. "My rules."

It was agony of the sweetest kind. And if this was what other people had together, then Brooke could understand why they would try for a relationship longer lasting than a few months.

His breath fanned over the sensitive never-endings below her ear. "You smell good."

Damn, but so did he. Up close, the scent of him was one of soap and faint muck. So male, so very individually him. It made its way from her nose directly to her abdomen. And she felt the spiralling grow and spread wide. Wow.

She cleared her throat. "It's Lilly of the Valley."

Again his breath tingled against her skin, this time closer to where her neck curved into the hollow of her collarbone. "Would that be perfume or…"his head lifted so that he could look into her eyes, his mouth hovering over hers again. "….body lotion?"

Who'd have thought the words 'body lotion' could take on a sexual meaning? If this is his idea of intimacy lessons without, well, the more obvious intimacy, then she was in bug, big trouble.

He pushed his hips I against the cradle of her stomach. And growled a very low groan as he moved his mouth past her ear.

Brooke blew out a small breath of the air she'd been holding in her lungs.

"I want you." Again his head tilted, this time to the other side of her neck.

Oh, damn. She wanted him too. She felt her heavy head droop back as his breath worked its way up towards her ear again, where it tickled as he whispered, "to come away with me this weekend."

She froze.

"What did you just say?"

Either he ignored the change in her, or he was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he hadn't noticed. Either way, he continued his assault on her neck. "A friend of mine from collage is getting married, this weekend."

Trying her best to ignore the distraction of his mouth so tantalisingly close to her skin. Brooke focused her efforts on staying calm. He couldn't be serious.

"You can't be serious."

Lucas stilled, his breath still brushing over her neck and returning her scent to him. But his voice changed, became less of a whisper. "Is that a problem?"

How could he not see that it was? They were still on scarily new ground for her. And although she had slipped into the role of 'intimacy' with him fairly smoothly, he had to know that it was way too early for her to be doing couple-y things with him. Especially a weeding.

"Lucas…"

"Don't." His head came back into a position where he could look her in the face. "Don't go taking a step backwards here. It's just a wedding. It's not like you haven't been my date to a wedding before. Plus you love weddings."

She searched for her security button. But he was wearing a T-shirt as dark a blue as his eyes, so there was no escape there. Reluctantly she looked back up at him.

"Don't you think it's a big step?"

"Brooke, I've known you longer then the groom who wedding we will be attending. I hardly think this is rushing things, but if you want we can go as 'just friends'." He took a breath, and jumped in. "But I'd really like it if we went as a couple."

They were a couple in his mind? Her heart beat a loud rhythm while she started at him. And if they weren't a couple, then what were they? They were certainly behaving the way a couple would, and when they had collected the children from Karen she had immediately invited them to dinner. As a couple. So it had to be the way other people way starting to see them.

It was the first step to a commitment, and Brooke knew that. Knew it as much because of the attachment she already felt to him as by the way it looked to outsiders.

But a wedding? That would present them as a couple without question. Did he want that so soon?

With shock she realised she wanted him to want it. And she had to question again how she could feel so quick an about-face after years of vowing to walk alone.

"I just don't know…"

He stepped back from her. "Fine. Don't worry about it. It was just an idea."

And now she'd hurt him. Maybe even given him the impression that what was happening wasn't all that important to her. Which in turn hurt her – because it was that important. She laid hand on his broad chest as he lifted his hands from the counter. "No. if you really want me to go, I'll go."

It was a big thing for her to do, and Lucas knew it. The fact that she would take such a big step for him touched him. Gave him more hope to hang onto. This was closer to the Brooke he remembered of old – the one who stepped forward bravely even when she was concerned or worried. And the fact that she was prepared to do this for him, to try something difficult out of respect for what he wanted.

Pinning what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face, she stepped forward and circled his neck with her arms. "I'll go."

Lucas let out a breath against her hair. "Good."


	14. Chapter 14

He was nervous. She'd never actually seen him nervous before, so it took a moment for her to recognise if for what it was.

She had known he was tense the minute they'd left her house. It had been there in the set of his shoulders, in the grip he'd had on the steering wheel. And no amount of small talk had seemed to help.

So she gave up on small talk. "What are you nervous about?"

"It's not so much nerves, I just don't wanna deal with the questions. Last time I saw them I was planning my engagement to Peyton."

She had a lightbulb moment. But she wanted him to be able to talk it through. "You haven't spoken to them in a while then?"

He shook his head. "II just don't want you to have to hear me explain it again and again."

"You're nervous for me?" She smiled. "I'm nervous enough for myself, don't you worry."

The second glance he gave her was more serious. "Do you want to go back?"

"No."

He looked as if he didn't completely believe her. "Liar. But I'm glad you're coming with me."

One large hand reached away from the gearshift and enclosed her smaller hand, where it lay in her lap. With the back of his hand then resting against her thigh, he squeezed her fingers tightly.

Trying to ignore the warm hand against her thigh, Brooke concentrated on talking. "Tell me a bit about them. It's so odd that we have had these lives apart when it feels like just yesterday our lives were so intertwined."

"Ah." He aimed a more relaxed smile at her before loosening his hand to change gears. "Adam was the point guard for my collage team. The rest of the team will be there too."

"I will never remember the names of an entire basketball team." She curled her hand in her lap again, feeling a chill without his warm touch. "So help me practice."

"You don't have to worry about that. I plan to keep you right by my side all evening."

Well at least he wasn't so tense any more. She smiled when he changed gear again, and reclaimed her hand. Long fingers reached out and squeezed her hand. "Stick close to me and we might just get through."

…..

When Lucas had first thought about inviting Brooke as his date he hadn't intended to hide behind her. He simply wanted to introduce her to the people he had grown fond of when they had ben apart.

A lesser man might have wanted to show he wasn't sad and alone by bringing someone to the wedding. But Brooke wasn't just a random date or camouflage.

She was his Brooke.

And now, at the reception, she was fielding his friends questions like the social butterfly she was. He grinned broadly as she systematically charmed the pants off each and every one of them.

"You're amazing." He steered them through the crowd to the packed dance floor. "You really are."

When their feet hit wood he whirled her around one, and then again. Until finally he hauled her against the length of his body. She swiped at his shoulder with her hand before resting it there. Their bodies settled into a synchronised swaying in time to the music and Brooke smiled up at him as she realised how easily it had happened. No awkwardness. No taking time to adjust to each other. They just fitted. As if they'd been dancing together for years.

His body stiffened as he missed a step, his arm closing tighter around her waist to steady her. He glanced down at their feet for a second, before resuming a smoother rhythm.

Lucas held onto Brooke while a million memories rattled around inside his head, his eyes focusing on hers while he thought. He watched the lights reflecting in their depths, deepening the green until they had as many facets as the precious stone that so closely resembled.

The last time they had danced like this it had felt like a goodbye, an ending. This time was different, this time he wouldn't let her go. He would never let her go again.

It took a while of swaying and a change of background music before Lucas finally spoke. "Thank you. For coming with me. Thank you for coming back to me."

She felt Lucas' fingers squeeze hers and looked into his face, smiling at him with shimmering eyes.

He smiled back, released her hand, to cup her cheek.

The touch of his lips against her hair was so light she could have imagined it. But she knew in her heart it had happened.

Just as surely as she knew she was in love with him.


	15. Chapter 15

She couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

She cursed herself for letting him book two rooms. She needed to see him.

Without taking the time to wonder what people might think if they found her in the elegant halls of the huge country hotel in only her nightgown, she headed for Lucas' room. She just needed to see him.

She just needed to be with him.

When he opened the door he stared at her for a long time. Then he glanced up and down the hallway and took her hand to pull her inside. "What's wrong?"

Brooke's eyes took in the fact that he hadn't changed. His jacket was thrown over the back of a chair and his tie was gone. But apart from loosening the buttons of his white shirt he was still dressed. While she was in her nightgown. A floaty, silky number, no less.

She folded her arms across her breasts and tried to distract herself from a sudden wash of self-consciousness by looking around the room. It was pretty much the same as hers. Just a different colour.

"Brooke?"

He eyes flittered back to his again. She looked at his fair hair, standing in varying spikes as if he'd been running his fingers through it. Damn, but he looked good.

His voice was soft. "What is it?"

Rehearsing what she was going to say to him might have been an idea.

Concern filled Lucas' handsome face as he stepped forward, one hand reaching out to touch the side of her waist. "What's wrong?"

There wasn't any point in speaking. She didn't want to speak. She could show him how she felt in other ways. Sometimes it just wasn't words that were needed.

So, self-consciousness disappeared into the warm air, she stepped forward and kissed him. She didn't touch him with her hands, didn't attempt to pull him closer. Just mouth to mouth.

Moving her head, she skimmed her mouth over his, touched from edge to edge. Then, with a small smile, she lifted her head an inch, tilted to the other side and repeated the process. Just as he'd done with her on that street in Boston.

Lucas stayed still. Like a rock in a storm. Only the increased rise and fall of his chest gave an indication he was even affected by what she was doing.

So she followed the path he had taught her in her kitchen, her mouth lifting from his to trail soft touches along his jaw to the skin below his ear. The scent of his musk-based aftershave was stronger as she made the kiss firmer, a completely original move of her own. Then she opened her mouth and flicked the tip of her tongue against his vaguely salty skin.

Lucas groaned. "Brooke….."

"Shhh." She smiled as her softly hissed whisper of breath raised goose bumps on his skin. "My rules."

He groaned again, his hands rising to grip her waist. But Brooke simply continued her assault on his neck, going up on tiptoes to reach the skin behind his ear. She placed her hands on his when he pushed his thumbs into a tighter hold. Prising his hands away, she placed his arms back by his sides, slowly lowering herself back off her toes as she worked her way down his neck.

"Brooke, stop."

At the collar of his shirt, she nudged with her nose, exposed more skin.

"Brooke. Please stop." His voice was husky, his body held tall and stiff. "I'm not going to do this."

Brooke raised her head enough to speak an inch above her favourite button. The button she had every intension of undoing. "Who asked you to do anything?"

"Stop."

His arms twisted swiftly, and before she knew what he was doing he had her wrists trapped and was pulling her back from his body. His husky voice whispered a firm "Stop."

Fiercely determined dark eyes watched as her chin rose.

"Why?"

"We can't do this. Not yet. It's too soon."

"You can't hide behind my emotional state this time." She knew with certainty born of recent experience that he wasn't immune to her. This shared intimacy was just that. Share. "So what is it?"

He hesitated.

"Tell me."

The fact that she had never see him at a loss for words frightened her to death. Whatever it was, it was a big deal. And she had the sinking feeling that it was a problem she had created. "Is this about her?"

His breath caught. That woman was like a spectre that hung over them. Would she think everything was about her. "She means nothing Brooke. Nothing. This is not about her. Nothing between us is about her anymore."

"Then why?"

"That's what I want to know. Why? You have kept me at arm's reach since you came back. What has changed your mind?"

Lord help her, it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him why. But she had to stop herself. She wouldn't push him into a place where he felt he has to voice a sentiment that he might not feel yet. Or, even worse, he might not feel what she felt and would feel he had to let her down gently.

He obviously wasn't over Peyton. It was too soon. Just as it would have been too soon for her if he'd let something happen before now. She just had to use the same self-restraint and give him the time he needed. At least he now knew that it wasn't her holding them back.

The large hands holding her relaxed again, his thumbs grazing back over the twin pulses that beat I her wrists. When he asked her again his voice had the same husky edge it had when she was kissing him.

"Tell me why."

Swallowing the hard lump that had formed in her throat, she smiled and admitted as much as she would allow herself to. "Because I don't want either off us to feel lonely anymore."

"Damn it, Brooke." He let the frustration out in his voice. "You just have to keep making this tough for me, don't you?"

"How am I making tough? I'm practically throwing myself at you!" she didn't get how he could be angry with her because of that.

"That's what's making this so tough. I don't want to push you away, and I don't want to make love to you of it means complicating this more than it already is."

"Do you want me?"

"Brooke…."There was an edge of warning to his voice as his hands tightened again. "Don't ask me stupid questions."

Anger was the one thing that Brooke could deal with well. She'd had years of practice at being angry, so his anger wasn't going to back her down. "And I damn well want you. So tell me exactly how there's a problem?"

Lucas' eyes took in the sparks of anger in hers, the flush on her cheeks, the rise and fall of her breasts beneath the scooped neck of her nightgown. He'd never ached so badly.

How was a guy supposed to look at her when she looked like that and not make love to her?

"Well?"

Her head cocked to one side in a challenge, dark brows arching.

He fought fire with fire. "You're going to stand there and tell me that all that time you were so determined to go it alone has been blown away by a few weeks of intimacy with me? or are you still trying to convince yourself?"

She practically flinched. "You son of a … Why are you being like this?"

His jaw clenched and unclenched.

"You're fighting me when you don't want to because I hurt you earlier, aren't you."

"You didn't hurt me!"

"Then what is this?" She struggled to free her arms, but when he simply held her tighter she clenched her teeth.

"You think I don't want you? Brooke, I want you. I need you." He hauled her forward and let out all his frustrations in one kiss. Trying to show her what he couldn't put into words yet. Ravaging her mouth with his while knowing she would probably fight him off now. She was certainly angry enough.

But she didn't. Instead she met raw, pent-up passion with passion of her own. What fight she had went into trying to free her wrists. So they struggled and kissed and twisted their bodies closer together and kissed. Until they wrenched apart, and the sound of heavy breathing filled the silent room.

It took several ling minutes for their breathing to ease while they stared at each other. Then Lucas told her in a calmer voice, "I'm still not going to make love to you. I won't risk losing you again."

She struggled again. "Then damn well let me go."

"I don't want to let you go."

It was soft sincerity of the statement that made her stop struggling and listen.

"What I want is to take you to that big bed over there and hold you."

She felt her feet propel her backwards as he pushed her body towards the edge of the four poster.

"Just hold you, that's all I'm going to do. And when I've spent the night holding you in my arms maybe you'll realise that that's way more intimate than making love to you."

The deep mattress hit the back of her knees. He released her wrists, placed his hands on her waist and lifted her onto the covers.

His eyes stayed locked to hers. "I'm only human, Brooke. I may touch you, because I won't be able to stop myself. But I won't make love to you."

Why couldn't she say something? She should say something smart or cutting, something to take him off his arrogant high horse. Who was he to push her around like this? Why did he get to make all the decisions?

He leaned in, slid his body onto the cover beside her, "If this is going to work, in the kind of long-term, meaningful way that you've spent so long avoiding, we need to go slow. And that way, when we do make love, it'll be the best experience of our lives."

The kiss was a soft caress, a promise of sorts. It ripped a hole in his chest. She didn't want to go slow. Then he moved his mouth next to her ear and whispered, "Slow can be good too. Trust me."


	16. Chapter 16

Work. It had been her place of hiding for long now and it felt good to be back in it again. And the backlog on her desk was the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen.

When she was working she didn't have time to dwell over little things like being in love. Completely, utterly and irrevocably in love.

Unfortunately she cleared her damn backlog in the space of one day.

Which meant she ended up looking into space by six, mooning over everything that had happened in Lucas' hotel room. Playing the scene over and over in her head in slow motion. Instead of doing the obvious and heading home to persuade him to participate in more of the same torture. To try and get across to him the fact that she was ready.

Ever since that night she'd been a twenty-four-hour walking version of ready. So much so that she was fairly sure she might scream out loud in frustration.

To hell with it.

She gave up on the idea of looking for any more work that needed to be done and decided instead to visit Haley for a while before she went home. Anyway, Lucas was in New York, a meeting with his publisher, so there was no rush. She needed something to distract her for a while from her state of readiness. And the only thing she could think of was the other emotion she'd been feeling of late.

She really, really missed the children.

When she got there Jamie landed on her at the door. "Whoa, guys. Steady, you'll knock me off my feet."

Did you bring Uncle Lucas?" Jamie tried looking past her. "Is he here?"

"No, not today, honey. Maybe next time."

Lydia's eyes sparkled with excitement from Haley's arms as she leaned over to plant a kiss on Brooke's cheek. "Come on in. This is a lovely surprise."

Brooke smiled at the warm greeting. "How are you feeling?"

"Still a bit stiff, but better." Haley grinned over her shoulder as Jamie hung onto Brooke's hand. "He's done nothing but talk about staying at your house, you know. They loved it."

"Then they'll have to come stay again." Jamie bounced up and down at her sides, raising a squeal f excitement from the high chair where Haley had just placed Lydia.

"Can we, Mama? Can we?"

"Aunt Brooke needs a rest after your last visit, don't you think?"

Brooke looked up from where she'd been cooing at Lydia, smiling down at Jamie. "Well, it was tough. But how about…." She kneeled down to his eye-level. "You promise to be a good boy for Mama and then we will see about another visit soon."

"I'm going to be so good. I'm gonna go clean my room right now."

Haley laughed as he hurried up the stairs. "That'll take him till the end of summer, you know. I'd say you're safe enough for a while."

She pulled up a chair next to Lydia. "I'm happy to have them Hale's. Just a bit of warning this time would be good."

"You really don't have to, Brooke. I know how busy you are."

"I'll make time. I miss them."

Haley studied her as she spooned some mash potato into Lydia's open mouth. "There's something different about you."

"I had my hair cut a few days ago."

"No, it's not that. Though that is nice too." She smiled. "It was nice to see you and Lucas getting along."

Brooke blushed as she glanced across at her. "Jamie said you all went to the zoo together. How was that?"

Avoiding her smiling face, Brooke concentrated hard on getting potato into Lydia. "It was fun, the kids had a great time."

"The kids, right."

She blushed again. "What's that supposed to mean."

"Oh, you know. How long have you two been seeing each other again?"

"I didn't say we were seeing each other."

Haley grinned broadly. "Are you serious about him?"

Brooke swallowed hard. Maybe that was part of the reason she had come to see Haley. After all, she knew both of them so well. She blushed. "Yes, I think I am."

Haley squealed so loudly that Lydia stared at her with saucer eyes. "Sorry, baby." She patted a pudgy arm and handed her a plastic spoon. "Here, decorate your chair for Mama." Then she looked back at Brooke with sparkling eyes. "This is amazing."

"I'm not talking to you about this if you're going to squeal again. I mean it."

"No squealing. I promise. Tell all."

Where did she start? What she wanted was for someone to tell her how she should be feeling. What it was like to build something longer-lasting than the controlled relationships she'd had before.

She just needed some kind of reassurance that she wasn't going to mess it all up by doing something really stupid.

What she also needed was for Haley to tell her there was no reason for her to feel jealous of a women who was happily married to someone else. That she shouldn't keep on being paranoid that he wasn't over her when he'd already stated he didn't think he'd been very much in love to begin with. That there was no reasonable reason why she should have a little voice in the back of her mind that said there was something he was holding back from her.

But suddenly she felt really moronic for wanting to ask any of it. So she didn't.

"It didn't go so well the first time"

"But it is now, right? That's so amazing!" Haley grasped a hand across the table and squeezed hard. "It's what I've always wanted for you two."

Brooke smiled. "It's still fairly early days, though."

Another squeeze. "This needs coffee and cookies to celebrate." She got up from the table and filled the coffee maker, her back to Brooke. "I'm so glad I was nice to him when I saw him today"

Brooke's eyes bored into her back. "Why wouldn't you be nice to him?"

"Well when the both of you showed up at the hospital all gooey eyed at each other I suspected that something was going on between the two of you." She switched on the coffee maker and reached for mugs, her back still to Brooke. "So when I saw him having lunch today with Peyton, I was confused to say the least."

It had been years since she'd experienced the gaping open wound in the chest sensation she was feeling by the time she got home.

And she hadn't even wanted to go home, which made her feel worse. Her home was her sanctuary, the one place she'd worked to have that was for her and her alone. But with Lucas just a few streets over she now wanted to avoid it. Which made her hate him even more than she already did for the sense of betrayal she felt.

How could he?

Or, more to the point, how could she? How could she have believed in him so quickly?

By the time she was inside her house she had no choice but to admit that it was because she had wanted to. She had wanted to believe that it was possible for her. Even though she decided it wasn't for her she had wanted to believe it was possible.

That there was still a little magic out there, somewhere.

Now she knew she'd been right to stay the way she'd been before he'd wandered back into her life. Now she knew she'd been as wrong to ignore the little voice in her head about Peyton as she had been back in the day.

Trouble was, it was too late. Because she'd already humiliated herself by practically throwing herself at him. She'd already opened herself up to heartache by trusting in him. She'd already made the damned open wound exist by loving him. And she now hated his guts, for all of those things. She went straight upstairs and stood under the shower, scrubbing and scrubbing at her skin as if it would remove any trace of him. But she didn't shed a tear. She wouldn't allow herself to.

Once she was dressed in her most worn pair of jeans and a long, comfort sweater of thick Aran knit, the doorbell rang. She let it ring. But after the fourth ring she knew it had to be Lucas. Who else was likely to come to her door after nine at night?

Who else would have thought they could, without ringing first? Felt they had that right because of intimacy?

She stood on her side of the door and breathed in and out. And in and out. Forcing back anger until the doorbell rang again. And when she yanked it open it was exactly who she'd thought it would be on the other side. Leaning against the brick wall looking gorgeous, and bearing a pizza box and a bottle of wine.

"Hi."

Brooke's chin rose.

"I have a load of work to do, Lucas."

"You still need to eat, though." He kept smiling while his eyes searched hers.

"I've eaten."

"Well, then, you can keep me company while I eat."

He stepped forward, his smile fading when she blocked his way.

"I don't think so."

It didn't take a mastermind to work out she was angry. And he had a fairly good idea as to where that anger came from. He had come over prepared to deal with it. But what caught him off guard was that she was cold as hell, which was even more worrying. Anger he could have dealt with. He'd dealt with it from her before.

He closed his eyes briefly, took a deep breath. "Okay. What's going on?"

Brooke folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, her breathing calm and controlled despite the hatred she felt for him in that moment. "You tell me."

"I'm not psychic, Brooke."

Keeping her breathing calm and controlled was getting more difficult. She swallowed hard, forced down the hurt. She wouldn't lose her temper with him. She wouldn't yell. Because if she did either of those things there was a very good chance she would cry. And she'd done enough of that.

"We're done, Lucas."

A fair eyebrow quirked in disbelief. "Oh, are we, indeed?"

"Yes, we are."

"And you're not going to tell me why?"

"I don't have to tell you anything."

"I think you do."

The anger bubbled. "You're such a smart guy, you work it out for yourself."

Standing a little taller, he looked her straight in the eye and opened his mouth to speak but faulted.

Brooke took the momentary advantage to talk over him. "You've been so very clever about helping me figure out all the great wrongs in my life, so why don't you just take a real good, long look at your own? I may have been shut off, Lucas, but when I was shut off the one thing I did do was never risk hurting someone else. Which is something you haven't quite managed, is it? All you've done is prove to me that I was right in the first place. I should never have got involved with you again."

She tried to end her statement by slamming the door in his face. But he was quick. His hand thudded hard against the wood and he pushed it back, stepping through her doorway with a look of complete determination written all over his face.

"Oh, no, you don't."

Brooke backed away from him, her fragile hold on her anger rapidly disappearing. "Get out of my house!"

"No." He kept walking towards her, pausing only to kick the door closed behind him. "I think we both know you know me better than that. I'm not going anywhere. Damn it, Brooke, tell me what's going on!"

"You want to know?" She yelled the words at him, stopping her backtracking to glare at him with angry eyes. "You want to know what's going on!"

'Yes!'

"Fine. Then I'll tell you exactly what's going on!"

He stood stock still as she threw words at him. "I won't be some rebound affair for you after your ex. That's what's going on!"


	17. Chapter 17

"Rebound affair"

He stared at her in astonishment. Where in hell had she got that one from? He had known when he'd seen Haley that afternoon that she would most likely mention it - had even told himself that by coming across to explain it to Brooke over pizza straight away he would stop it being a problem. But he hadn't expected her to come to the conclusion she had. "What in hell are you talking about? You're not a rebound affair!"

"That's exactly what I am." She stepped towards him again. "It all makes perfect sense now."

"Then maybe you should try explaining it to me, because from where I'm standing it doesn't make any sense at all."

Her arms folded again. Are you going to tell me you didn't see Peyton today?"

"No, I'm not going to tell you that. And if you'd waited about ten minutes I'd have told you myself."

"Just bumped into her, did you?"

"No. she called me, as it happens."

"Well, isn't that nice for you both?" She smirked up at him. "Though it would have been nice if you'd mentioned that before!"

"Brooke, we never talked about it before. He shook his head in frustration and walked across to stand in front of her mantelpiece, setting the pizza box and the wine down along the way.

There was a brief second of charged silence while she waited for him to face her again. "Because every time I tried talking to you about her you'd shut me out."

"Are you even going to listen to what I have to say about this, or are you just going to yell at me the whole time?"

She jerked back. Then the cold look came back to her eyes. "Fine, then." She moved around an armchair and sat down, carefully smoothing her jeans and then calmly folding her hands onto her lap before she looked up at him. "Go right ahead. I'm fascinated."

One long finger waggled in her direction. "Don't do that."

"Do what?" she blinked. "I thought you wanted me to listen."

Lucas swore and paced away from the mantelpiece, swinging to look at her when he turned around at the sofa. "You're not going to be open-minded enough to listen when you've already shut yourself off the way you were before." He paced forward again and stopped in front of her. "Take a minute and look at everything that has happened between you and me these last few weeks, and then ask yourself if it was all some big lie."

Her lips pursed tightly before she spoke in a controlled tone. 'It's why you wouldn't make love to me. You couldn't. Because you're still in love with her."

"I am not still in love with her! She and asked to meet with me to let me know that her and Jake are going to have a baby."

The word 'baby' widened her eyes.

Lucas smiled a cold smile. "Didn't expect that one, did you? Knocks your great theory right on the head."

When her eyes blinked for several minutes he softened, believing he was getting through to her. But then she exasperated him more by calmly stating, "It doesn't stop me from being a rebound for you. Because, whether she's married or not, you still care about her."

"Yes, I still care about her, Brooke."

She turned her head away from him.

His voice went flat. "As a friend. Though how we managed that after everything still stuns me."

Brooke unfolded her hands and used her palms on the arms of the chair to push herself upright again. "I've heard enough."

"No, you haven't." He stepped in and used his large hands on her shoulders, to push her firmly back into the chair. Then he hunched down in front of her, his eyes fixing on hers, demanding she pay attention. "I realised what when wrong with Peyton."

"And you went today to try and explain that to her? I'm sure her husband would just love that."

"That's not what I mean Brooke. What I'm trying to say is that I rushed into everything with Peyton and tried to force something that wasn't there"

She wanted him to leave. She didn't want to hear about his relationship with Peyton. How could she ever get past this sense betrayal she felt after this? And it wasn't even a sense of betrayal because he had heated in her in some way. It was the betrayal of her trust in him. He had made her believe. Had made her think that with time it would be possible for her to have a deep and meaningful relationship with him that wouldn't be fraught with the same issues her parents had had.

"You know something, Lucas?" She leaned towards him, her voice low. "I spent years of my life listening to two people have arguments like this one. Not on the same subject. But it basically came down to the same kind of thing. Their relationship didn't work anymore than this one ever will. There was never room for a supposedly magical thing like love, because all the fights ever did was kill it stone-dead."

Thick lashes blinked as he stared at her in silence.

"I used to hear them at night. I would lie in bed and listen while they tore each other apart with explanations and excuses and reasoning. And then during the day I'd live with two people putting on a show for the rest of the world."

His jaw worked, and the muscles in his neck moved as he swallowed hard.

"They never connected. They never fully gave themselves over to love. Not even or their daughter."

His eyes flickered as he put what she was saying together. "That's what I realised, I didn't love Peyton the right way. Brooke, I didn't make love to you, because I didn't want to risk making the same mistake with you. I need to know that you love me and I'm not forcing this again."

Brooke's head turned slightly, and she glanced briefly at his back. "If you didn't love her enough, then why did you propose?"

"It's what I thought I wanted. I wanted a wife and a family. You knew that about me. Peyton and I were good at being friends, we had a lot in common and I thought that was enough. I was wrong."

He glanced at her and then dropped his gaze to the mantel, frowning. "In the end we were just holding each other back from finding real love."

With his head still bowed he didn't see Brooke's shoulder start to turn. Didn't notice that she was looking directly at him again with questions in her eyes. It took the crackle in her voice when she spoke for him to raise his head and look. "What did being with me do to make you understand that?"

Dark blue eyes locked with green. "You're wrong about being my rebound from Peyton, Brooke. Very wrong."

She watched as he turned around and walked towards her stopping a safe distance away. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because it took being with you again for me to realise how much I love you."

Her eyes shimmered.

"And to admit to myself how much I loved when I was seventeen."

She blinked while her eyes filled with tears she'd sworn she wouldn't shed.

"I never knew how much."

They started to overflow, and the moisture gathered on her lower lashes.

He smiled sadly. "You aren't my rebound from Peyton. Peyton was my rebound from you." His voice cracked and he stopped to clear his throat, looking away from her face.

A shaky breath dislodged the tears from her lashes and they streaked, unchecked, down her cheeks.

"And she's happy now, you know. They're expecting their baby in six months, and they're crazy about each other. What they have is the real deal."

The first tears gathered on her jaw-line and hung there for a brief second before they dropped silently to the floor.

"When I saw her today the first thing that entered my mind was how beautiful you would look carrying a baby. I even allowed myself to hope for a minute that if I was patient enough one day it might happen for us."

A sob escaped.

"But truth is, if I'd told you any of this, this early on, you'd have run again. And I couldn't take that chance." He cleared his throat a second time and managed to look at her for a brief second, his eyes following the path of the tears along her cheeks. "And it would have been too soon for you, Brooke, wouldn't it?"

Even as another sob escaped and the tears flowed freely, Brooke was silently nodding her head. He was right. So, so right. It would have scared the life out of her. Even if she hadn't been given a glimpse of the kind of painful argument that had reminded her of how it could tear two people apart.

Lucas nodded slowly, lifted his hands and pushed them firmly into the pockets of his jeans. "I though so."

Her chest shuddered as she breathed in and out and the realisation of what was happening finally hit her. He was saying goodbye.

His gaze went to the door again and he moved, turning in the direction required to get his feet there. "At least you know now."

In the space of two strides he was at the door. And Brooke watched with rapidly blinking eyes as he pulled it open and then gently clicked it closed behind him.

And she let him go.

She let him go.


	18. Chapter 18

It was raining.

Not that it was an unusual phenomenon for the North Carolina coast. But it had started softly raining the night that Lucas left her house. And it just didn't stop. Like a natural reflection of how Brooke felt.

The irony was that for the first time in her life she could understand better why her parents had been the way they had. And she could almost forgive them for a lot if they had felt as bad as she felt now.

If Lucas had thought she was cut off emotionally before, then he hadn't had a clue how cut off she could actually be. It was like being a shadow. Nature had to make up for the tears she didn't have let.

She was getting through her days somehow. Not enjoying them, or gathering any real memories of what she had done or who she had talked to to fill time. But she was getting through.

It was the nights that were the worst.

Because at night she was truly alone. And when she sat in her house as the light faded outside, and she couldn't gather the energy to get up to pull the curtains or switch on some lamps. And she would ache as she'd never ached before.

And the rain would fall in streaks along the windowpane so that there were always tears before her eyes. Even when she didn't shed them.

After a few days her phone had started ringing in the evenings. But she ignored it. Thanks to the rain she could even manage to avoid speaking to her neighbours when, at the end of the work day, they would park in their driveways at the same time and hurry indoors under an umbrella.

When she continued to avoid the phone at home, Haley started ringing her at work. But she always got Milly to say she was busy, or in a conference, or out to lunch.

At the end of a week of calls Haley appeared at her door. And Brooke realised she couldn't hide for ever.

"I've been trying to get you on the phone all week." She pushed past her to get out of the rain and looked around her as she shook the moisture from her hair. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

Brooke let a lie flow out in answer. "I just got home."

"I wasn't even sure you were home when I drove up." Haley found a lamp on the nearby table and flicked it on turning to look at her friend. "Oh, my God. What's wrong?"

Brooke's eyes squinted in the light. "Could you pull the curtains?"

Haley stared at her where she was hiding at the side of the window. "You look like crap."

"The curtains." She waved a hand at them. "Please Hale's."

Stepping over to the large window, she hauled the curtains across and then swung again to stare at Brooke. "What's happened?"

"Can we not do this now?"

"No, we are doing this now. I thought I was being paranoid when it felt like you were avoiding my calls, but I wasn't, was I?"

"I just need a little time alone."

"Why?"

Brooke shook her head and walked past her into the kitchen, slightly more confident to move with the curtains drawn. "I'm just working through some things, that's all."

"Well, then, let me help."

"I just need a little time. Honestly, I'll be fine."

"Brooke, you have been there for me through so much. Just once let me do the same for you."

She shook her head. "I appreciate it, Haley, I really do. But you can't help."

"It's Lucas, isn't it?"

"Yes." The word came out on a monotone. Then she forced another smile, tapping her friend's hand where it lay on her shoulder before stepping out of her hold. "But you can't help."

"What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything, I broke my own heart."

There was a gasp from her side. "You ended it aging, didn't you?"

"Haley…."

"Does he love you?"

She frowned. That question she could at least answer with complete conviction. "Yes, I really believe he does."

"And you love him right?"

"Yes."

The whispered word brought Haley back to her side. She leaned her head down so she could look into Brooke's eyes. "Then what went wrong?"

"We'd tear each other apart trying to understand the answer to that. Would probably even fling stuff at each other to find out who's to blame, like my parents used to." She looked over at her. "We already did, thanks to me."

"Oh, Brooke." Haley's eyes immediately filled with tears.

Brooke jumped back from her as if she'd been burned. She couldn't look at someone else crying. Especially not Haley. "You should go. Really, I just need some time. It'll be fine."

"Will it?" Her head shook. "I don't think it will. Not when it's this big. Something this big a deal isn't exactly an everyday occurrence for you."

It hadn't been an any day occurrence for her. Until Lucas. And everything just kept coming back to him, didn't it? Because the truth was he wasn't the only one who had been in love.

"Can't you fix it with him"?

"I don't know."

"You idiot!"

The raised voice shocked her. She blinked across the room with wide eyes. "Now you're going to yell at me? That's just terrific – exactly what I need!"

"If he loves you, and you love him, and you're not over there trying to fix it…" Haley gestured to the door. "…..then you're an idiot!"

Brooke gaped at her.

"You of all people know how rare something like that is. But instead of fighting for it you're over here, hiding from the world and shutting him out. What is it with you two? It's so obvious to everyone else. But instead of just letting go of the past - when we were kids, by the way – you would rather be alone for the rest of your life."

Brooke blinked dry eyes.

"Fine, then. Go ahead." She stomped past her and through the living room.

"Haley…"

She stopped, swung on her heel and stormed back, pulling Brooke into her arms. "For once Brooke, put your happiness first and don't chose to be miserable. And if it take yelling at you, then I will come over and yell at you every single day."

When Haley pulled back, Brooke found herself smiling a more genuine, if somewhat bittersweet smile. "Wow. You're bossy."

"I get that from you."

Still smiling, Brooke blinked and glanced over at the window. "I don't want to be without him, Haley. I know that. I knew it when I watched him walk out the door. I just don't know how to fix it, that's all."

"Well, then, you'll just have to find a way."

"It's not easy."

"Brooke, noting worth having ever is. Wait till you try childbirth."

* * *

He needed to get away. He couldn't stay in this too small town, she was everywhere. Happy memories, sad memories. Everything screamed Brooke.

He might as well sit at home and stick needles in his eyes.

He just missed her so much.

He missed seeing her dimples appear when she laughed. He missed the way her eyes would sparkle when they argued. He missed the small noises she made when he would touch her and kiss her. But most of all he missed the way he felt when he was with her.

When he had known that he wanted a family of his own someday, and someone to love that could love him back, he had never actually sat down to think what loving them would feel like. Yes, he'd hoped for a partnership, for passion and sharing. But he'd never expected that he would feel like half of a whole without her.

It was what had been missing in his relationship with Peyton. He had never ached for her the way he ached for Brooke.

When he had talked to Peyton she had said something that hadn't completely made sense to him. She had told him that with Jake it had never been a case of imagining him in her life for ever that had convinced her he was right for her. It had been imagining what her life would be without him that had been the clincher.

And Lucas knew exactly what she meant by that. Now.

He lay in bed alone at night and tried to find every solution he could to where they were now. But the one simple face that stopped every great plan he made dead in the water was that he wouldn't do it alone. If Brooke wouldn't take a chance on them then he couldn't force her to. No matter how much he wanted to try. No matter how much he burned to fight for it.

It would take both of them to work at it every damn day. That was how it was supposed to be.

He wasn't going to do this to himself anymore.


End file.
